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Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts

5/29/17

Jeep Thrill

Deconstructed and ciphered...


















There was a time I posted every day. It was a compulsion.

The same was true of social media in its infancy. An early adopter I was burned out by 2010 and I was off all platforms except somehow I got sucked in by Google+. Mostly because I wasn't about to let go of my blog which originally was an adjunct to my YouTube channel. Google suddenly switched and it became connected to Google+. My daily blog posting evolved into interaction on Google+ which is a ghost town to me now. An introvert living in an extroverted world doesn't mind that.

Taking photos every day and editing them was once a necessary compulsion. More recently I still edit daily finding it a fulfillment and a creative outlet more than ever. I break pictures apart and create an enigma that I may or may not be able to  resolve. Usually they turn out fairly well and occasionally not. It makes perfect sense to me in a nonsensical world. Nowadays I post sporadically. Time for a rethink on my blog and we'll see what happens on Google+ since it is highly unlikely I'll be on another platform.

It seems right to post regularly here again. The backlog is pretty large.

6/9/14

Staying Upright

Wires from pole to pole moving signals forward...

Recovery takes time. Only you know your body, mind and soul and have free will to be in charge of it.

These past nine months for me have been a medical confrontation of rather mundane problems that by themselves would be readily recovered from. When they occurred simultaneously in me the interior body collision detonated a multitude of primary, secondary and tertiary responses of unexpected varieties. A sudden turn of events with the body can affect the mind if you are not careful. One sure empathizes with what a person who regularly lives with medical issues goes through daily. Gratefully my problems are resolvable but recovery takes time and a toll on both body and mind and is ongoing.



Nowadays I'm putting one foot in front of the other literally and figuratively to keep on moving. It's a matter of daily regaining physical strength and reconnecting the synapses again. A doctor can help restore my body but only I can do the physical and mental work. It is something you have to want and a component is recognizing that combating the feeling of not wanting to do what is required is its own separate work. On occasion it requires operating in a functional utilitarian fashion to keep on walking for the later reward of operating smoothly again. If you stop doing the work the risk is too high you will not start back moving again.

It is best to take your own time for recovery because it is your body, mind and soul. Likewise know yourself enough to take charge of what is best for your health and well being to keep moving.

4/24/12

In The Raw

Or do you sleep in the nude?...

Desert Rose among thorns.

The image I posted prior to this post at midnight today was also posted on Google+ and I was asked by someone who viewed the photo on my Google+ stream if I would mind posting the original photo. I'm not sure why fiona munday is interested in seeing the original but I agreed to do so for several reasons.

My photography and this blog have evolved to where the images are no longer SOOC (straight out of camera) or slightly edited. Rather they've become something else, Visual Art that has been edited or "processed" to either retain the essence of the original image or alter it into something entirely different. The artwork produced is not pure photography and it is not a painting or drawing or some other visual medium since it was not created directly onto canvas, paper or something else. It is digital and resides in a file on a computer until reproduced through some printing process. I consider this no different than creating a painting, drawing or some other visual art by using a photograph as guide or by projection. It is taking an original photograph and turning it into something visually appealing whether it is an enhanced recognizable version of the original or artwork that is completely different.

This is a topic of controversy among some photographers who are purists and I choose not to wade into what is "real" photography and genuine photographs. It seems specious to me since every photograph has been altered in some way depending on what camera you're using and if you're using special lens somehow it's changing what is "real." In any case I haven't thought of myself as a photographer since I used a 35mm film Hanimax Praktika camera in the seventies and eighties. Along with being a writer I consider myself a visual artist that creates images. I also don't think any photographer, painter, sculptor or artist of any kind is under an obligation explain how they do what they do and how they arrived on a particular piece of artwork. If they choose to do so I find it interesting but I believe it is a matter of choice. Generally I don't share the originals or explain exactly how I processed a photo, very often because I don't write down step by step what I do and I don't have a standard process it is continual exploration. In a sense I think it also takes the mystery out of the piece and doesn't allow the viewer to make their own interpretation of it.

I share the original photo, taken on my Droid X 1 using the app ProHDR straight out of the camera, to show the progression from original photo to final artwork. I use primarily three editing programs and I'll leave which I used for this final piece as an enigma although an experienced pro I'm sure can figure it out. What I will say is I adjust, edit and upload on the smartphone camera as well as on a PC. A final word on the topic is that although I think every decent photograph has the opportunity to become something special through processing you still have to start with a basic decent composition. There are flaws in this one with that I can see but all anyone needs to do is read my post from May 9th of this year "Rules, There Are Rules?" to further understand my point of view about rules, flaws and creative endeavors.

2/9/12

Fear Based Politics

Where are the leaders?...

Demagogues in the US are unwittingly leading us to revolution.

Americans are looking for leaders and finding only people with over-sized egos implementing political strategies to win popularity contests. We've been through five years now of the Great Recession that never really ended and appears to be resurfacing in a Double Dip. Many people are recognizing these terms are euphemisms and if we have not been in another Great Depression similar to the nineteen-thirties then we are headed for one. More than likely we have already begun a "Depression within a Depression" replicating 1936-1937. The terms really do not matter since the conditions are the same and storm clouds are gathering that portend something unheard of a decade ago and that is revolution. The term itself invokes fear but thinking about it, how much worse could that fear be than the fear based autocrats and technocrats that run our country now?

We are not only in an economic crackup of historic proportions but a social and political one as well that occurs in cycles every 60-80 years and every 300-500 years. In the long view of history we will be seen as one of the societies that went through both simultaneously. The times we live in are truly epic and not in the trite sense of the word nor of the garden variety cycles of history that repeat themselves in oft-quoted Santayana admonishment. A polymath who sees underlying problems with resolutions to be implemented in a well thought out way does well to understand that is not possible in epochs of radical change. We are on a road to some sort of revolution and sensibly organizing something such as a Second Constitutional Convention is likely only in aftermath. The deconstruction caused by a technological, economic, political and social disruption must come first.


When that occurs no prognosticator knows, only that surely it is coming and the general period of time but not the day and hour. In 2012 it seems the time is quickly drawing nearer. The average person regardless of their social intelligence senses these things and feels the winds blowing in sea change. What more pragmatically is there to know really? There are two ways to be led in times such as this: with inspiration and hope or with despair and fear.

Our current politicians are operating in the second mode, fear-mongering and blowing dog whistles to rile up all kinds of fears to stir people up and move them to their campaign and raise their donations. Perhaps the Democrats have leaders somewhere hidden in their lot but we don't know since they are not having a primary and not proffering any up since their nominee is a foregone conclusion. Their representative is not a leader and falls short in categories too numerous to mention that reveal themselves daily. Whether he is a likable or decent person to the beholder is irrelevant but the low caliber of the work he is performing is.

We find ourselves in an election season with a population that at a minimum is uneasy and unsure of what is happening in our country, generally burned out from this lengthy so-called Recovery that wasn't, genuinely concerned about the future short and long term. What do we get in return from the political class? A parade of clowns, trapeze artists, show ponies not fit for even a third rate circus all pandering to the lowest element and basest of emotions. Most people are tired of hearing about both the social progressive and social conservative agenda. They want to live their lives with some real hope and belief that things will one day get better. We may be in a bad spot that will take a long time to get out of but they want a leader who says "Yes we can rise above and work together" and not "my opponent is a jerk out to screw you." It's really that simple.

How this election season plays out in each act no one can predict but I'm willing to bet that the forces are already moving the average person to turn all the crazy negativity off. They will stop being complacent, halting the train of the loud mouth social progressives and social conservatives that are shouting down and drowning them out. It is reminiscent to me of Nixon's "Silent Majority" who did go out and vote for him because they wanted the merry-go-round to stop and they were tired and weary. Right, wrong, good, bad or indifferent he represented that to them. Will there be anyone to rise out of the Republican primary ashes to capture that sense? It's hard to see it but we will have to see.


My sense of it at this moment in time is the leaders are not there or are not willing to step forward and in some sense I can see why they wouldn't. There is no palatable way that much of the voting public can accept at this time the difficult and hard sacrifices that must be made to turn our economy around and our politics and society to some semblance of what America is supposed to be about. My prediction is that the current Administration will continue to make alienating bubble headed decisions that turn off even his own base and in return the Republicans nominate someone so far out in right field that the average American won't go for them. If they decide to vote who it will be for is going to be a difficult choice and my suspicion is whoever wins it will be by some default.

Our largest concern really isn't the crazy antics of the candidates themselves but the crazy billionaires crafting plans behind the scenes. They are the ones reigning over the concealed tyranny we are subjected to. To my way of thinking having two candidates that are not palatable to the majority of the country is probably a good thing in a seemingly bad way. It forces the average person to get active with their anger and strong arm the hands of the political and bureaucratic classes by submitting them to the will of the people rather than the other way around. The purpose is the neutering of the lobbying and billionaire money behind them and in the aftermath force that Second Constitutional Congress. Sounds like revolution? Yes it does, it's the real hard work, very doable and not as scary and violent as it sounds.

1/30/12

The Internet and Me

How I am arriving at being a Creator of My Content...

On publicly forming my own individual form of creative art.

The internet brought me back to being able to be a creative person as an evolutionary process and it's still a work in progress. I do not consider myself an artist as much as a creator of content since the internet provides a platform for me to share my integrated creative works. The web provides the platform, the canvas and gallery if you will, for me to express myself and share it with an audience. My concept is combining my writing, photography and videography onto a mezzanine of creative expression that crosses genres. It's taken me a number of years, over a decade and a half, to develop the message and skills I want to transmit into something more specific. The technology of the web opened the expressive creative process for me and all art is evolutionary process. It's only recently that I understand the particular type of content I want to create therefore promoting it has not been foremost but the priority has been more fully forming it.



When I started college I majored in Art (ending up with a minor in Art History) to learn better drawing and photography with the realistic understanding that meant either teaching or working in graphic design as a practical matter for income. The experience was constraining and confining to me since it seemed to involve mimicking a lot of standard styles and techniques that were tried and true from famous artists and works, in the guise of learning to create your own style. It was very imitative, not innovative and to me did not logically follow a path to my goal of creating individual unique work. In that era the art world of all genres was a confining closed society and restrictive including the very thing we are struggling with today: copyrights. I lost interest in trying to break through those barriers, changed majors and for decades the only creative activity I did was photography and small collages for my own walls.

Although I had been online a long time the internet opened up a whole new world for me around 1995 with the advent of the World Wide Web. It wasn't until 2005 with YouTube and video sharing of individually created videos along with Blogger and blogging that I started to use learn how to use those tools. The learning curve was occurring and my inspiration was slow in developing. The real advance in my creative endeavors began in 2009 when my friend Caylyn taught me video editing. At the same time I decided to also create blog entries every day as a discipline and to learn even more skills and tools of websites. I rarely read the manuals and still barely nor do I follow "the rules." I use what equipment is available to me and I learn from different people and whoever is willing to teach me as well as trial and error. There is a lot to be said for pure observation also of what not to do and what to do.

It is due to the internet I've been able to learn a lot in multiple ways and quite unintentionally built a small audience. Everything I've learned from social and creative websites is only now beginning to fall into place and Google+ has come along at a good time for me. I was an early invite and it has been good as a sort of public square to share my thoughts, things that interest me, learn from others and stimulate my website blog traffic. I am a small fish in a big pond with an astonishing following of around 3300 that somewhat overwhelms me since I've never had more than 400-500 subscribers/followers on any website. I'm not in the league of those photographers, bloggers, artists who have 33,000 followers and nowhere near a Thomas Hawk or Chris Brogan and not sure I want to be.

What I believe is the internet is wonderful for those of us who will never get and do not necessarily want a mass market following to have a venue to share our work with people who appreciate it regardless of their number. I am just now beginning to understand what it is I want to achieve creatively in an individual way and what direction I'm taking all the while still developing and growing.


It's a constantly evolving process that is being formed openly for the entire world to see on the internet. My personal creative satisfaction though is what is paramount and I share on the web for those who might be interested, go for the ride and give me feedback to achieve improvement. It is not for ego or financial gain. As my audience increases I consider that a byproduct of my creative growth but not something to be sought after as the primary goal. I view that as defeating the purpose and probably why I'll never be "big time." The internet has been a communications tool that allows me and millions of other people to express themselves creatively and reach as many or as few people as they are able to without a producer, editor, manager, agent, lawyer or any other middleman.

1/26/12

The Sky Darkened

It was a dark and stormy night...

Then I awoke.

Recently I've been having one of those momentary periods that many of us get. My personal name for this flat aura is "My Anxiety" and occurs occasionally, for reasons not always clear at first although I know what seemingly minor events pull the triggers. The cycles begin with feeling anxious hosted by multiple demons which are uncertainty over the future, my perceptions of the world and a doubt about my creative ability. Like Jesus casting out the demons in the possessed man I start the process of doing that within myself. When these moods occur it is critical to remember that just as they arrive unannounced and unwanted they'll go away in pretty much the same manner. They cannot be left to work themselves out on their own though for that may call up Churchill's Black Dog and instead requires determination to be rid of the hangdog.

It is work that has to be done if I'm to get beyond it. The moods range from feeling deflated, being tired accompanied by overall body ache, spells of black and blue mood that are occasionally illuminated from the firmament through windows of rational thinking. It is the skylight of the rational thinking I have learned to seize and sort out reality that almost always follows the same pattern. There is nothing wrong with my life, actually I'm quite fortunate that I've been able to structure my life to be relatively stress free, comfortable and content, secure in my possessions, my abilities and my relationships. The conclusion is always the same, some chemical reaction has occurred in my system that needs to be worked out. Over the years I've learned what tools I need to get from the workroom and implement them.


During these periods it would be easier if I could just pick them up, deploy them and the interlude is then quickly over. Not so fast, time is one of the elements in recovery and it ticks on its own clock while recalling that motivation has also been dealt a surly blow. It would be nice if there was a one-size formula already worked out in some self help plan but in actuality what works for one person doesn't work for another. When people ask I let them know what works for me with the caveat that the solutions are arrived by individual sojourn until the Blue Box works for them and breaks their code. It is never arrived at completely and cannot be given up, if one thing does not work it is critical to continue and try another.

Nevertheless the knowledge itself is enough and once learned the process is shortened, the interlude limited and the darkness more a muted light gray than what at one time in my life was black. This recent installment explains my recent interest in taking photographs in black and white in the urban landscape and writing less. As these things go I knew it would pass and just as quickly as it descended and was recognized it has also lifted and passed. Not without some work and effort coupled with unwanted angst and confusion and cleansing out of the archfiends this storm has passed over.

My term "My Anxiety" came from my friend Maryann, who I've been thinking and wondering about.

1/4/12

2012 Social, Economic, Political

Lay a foundation of inner strength for the long haul... 

This past year was one that I certainly cannot say "it went by so fast" since for me it didn't. It was a dramatic year of magnificent highs and lows, replete with drama resolved, that I fully lived every day of. Snitching a phrase it was "a time for every season" and a cliche it was a "passage of life" with the conundrum puzzled out. What I learned in the past year, after figuring out I didn't know as much as I thought, provided guide stones for what will certainly be a tumultuous year for our country and world. Going through and beyond personal milestones and stumbling blocks provided a solid foundation to allow me to personally cope with a globe going out of control that I can do little about. I learned that the external social disruption, economic disaster and political turmoil of the past few years cannot derail me and that I have the internal will to survive what may come.


This year the change in society will become evident to everyone and few will be able to live in denial. The economic crackup that seemingly took a brief holiday last year will return full force and cause social, economic and political realms to change. We are in for a tough year when the recognition that the quick fixes didn't work will out of necessity fade into settling in for a long haul of change and restoration. It is the end of the world as we knew it but not the end of the world, rather the aurora of a new period in history. People will stumble and fall as well as survive and thrive. Our goal is through skills of inner strength overcome and creatively rise above the fray relatively unscathed. We are of little use to others if we are not capable of keeping ourselves tethered to the shore.

When the world around us is spinning off its axis it's critical to remind ourselves we have no control over it. While external events may affect us how we respond and cope with them is what matters. A great thing about getting older truly is getting wiser. To gain wisdom we must learn from our past mistakes and victories so we may burrow a strong foothold on the spinning top of earth and keep our feet planted in the ground so as not to fly off.


The easy road to problems and difficulties is avoidance and procrastination except that actually results in multiplying into more bad situations. Painful and demanding is the road that leads to breaking through hard times but the by-product is not only resolutions but also acquiring new coping skills. It is these skills that we build an inherent infrastructure to keep us rooted on terra firma to avoid being blown away by extraneous gales and headwinds. If you haven't already, start laying your foundation of readiness to calmly live through the tempest. If you already have then keep building.

12/30/11

Under Construction

Taking stock and continuous  learning...

New Years has never been a time for resolutions for me. Somewhere around the end of September or beginning of October when the weather turns from blistering hot to a cooler warm my mind automatically starts taking stock thinking how I'd like to proceed the next year. It's a work in progress since for me life is a series of steps forward through continuous learning and being under construction. In December I start house cleaning thoroughly since it has been shut tight during the summer. While going through my entire home I am also clearing out the unnecessary stuff accumulated throughout the year. I shred what little paperwork I still keep, toss or give away things, organize my digital life, getting things in order for the New Year. No resolutions for the upcoming year except a list of things I want to do or get better at doing, clearing the cache in my brain and starting anew.


It's curious to me why so many people fight aging and dislike getting older. My life has gotten steadily better and easier to understand myself and others as life's milestones go by. I no longer worry about things that I once did and I'm not striving to stay young since I've already been young once. Why repeat it? It was fun, I had a pretty good time but it was also stressful because I was unsure of myself lacking maturity and wisdom of age. As I get older the pieces of the puzzle collected through years of living start coming together and I can see the bigger picture. I've lived a full life and if I died tomorrow, although I'd like to live until I'm a hundred, I'd be alright with that. Whenever it happens I want people to say "he died from having lived."

Life does get better as you put the miles on if you travel with the right attitude. Resolutions are declarations of intent with a deadline whereas goals are destinations to arrive at in order to move on to the next one. Each New Year is an opportunity to keep growing and learning through discovery. Cleaning the physical house you live in is also a way of renewing your energy and your physical being that is the house where your spirit lives. Taking stock of where your mind and soul are also is a way of refreshing and renewing your sense of purpose and direction. Resolutions somehow never seem to be met and to me far better to list out items that keep you moving forward and always learning alongside a renewed commitment of gracefully moving from one passage to another.

12/21/11

Rains of Arizona

Winter rains soak the scorched urban landscape...

Hard rain hits this desert city so infrequently it gives a new meaning to the term desert pavement, which usually refers to the compacted sand and rock on the open range dry desert floor, that creates severe flooding runoff when it does rain. In the urban landscape there is literal man made pavement with insufficient man made drainage to handle the two seasons a year rain hits fast and furious in copious torrents. Just as the natural desert pavement is unable to absorb that amount of moisture into the ground in such a short time, neither can the manufactured pavement of a metropolitan area. It is an intensely exciting period of baptism by immersion and being washed cleaned.


Raindrops fall like bullets in rapid fire machine gun like from the stratosphere above assailing the ground. It happens so quickly with so much force that as it strikes the ground it quickly pools. Even the best inner-city drainage systems are unable to handle these storms. They're built for the gentler more subtle ones that are most likely to occur in between. Since gully washers are so infrequent in the desert the city doesn't have much opportunity to wash off the oil and grime that collects the dust and dirt of daily life. The combination of the two makes anything motorized with wheels float and glide above it with only perpetual motion and grace to guide them. It is a case of driver and all others beware for nature has momentarily asserted control.

These storms are a cause for celebration to urban and suburban desert dwellers. The sky, the air, the roofs, the buildings, the roads, everything is washed clean. The brief period when the storm is pelting the ground everything either dramatically slows or grinds to a complete stop. Indeed for awhile those caught driving in it may be in for as rough a time as intimidating as being stuck in a blizzard in Des Moines. Then slowly the streets and sidewalks drain into any overflow available eventually to make it underground where it will be stored during the long dry spell until the next storm. Life returns to normal only with a fresh, clean new start. The city has been replenished and reborn.

11/29/11

Crossing the Virtual Desert

Seek water journeying past a brief void of mind...

Above all else keep squinting to the horizon for the oasis.

There are times when forces in life collide and a fiery mixture that creates a burst of creativity and colorful experiences explode and the thrill of living can hardly be contained. Then they are often followed by quiet periods of contemplation and the soul soaks up what it has encountered and cultivates it for expressions in art and intellect. Then there are those cycles where the energy seems sapped out of life and the mood is flat and the color is gray. If you are a soul that travels through the hemisphere of vivid contrasting emotions it is important to recognize when those intervals occur. It is a certain bet that you are a creative type, a thinker, whether it is art, literary or science and it is critical you be aware of your own states of being.


When I was younger it was learning not to let moments of maniacal-like outbursts of creativity get too out of control and manage them to productively use the energy. Quietude has always been a manageable and enjoyable period since instinctively I know that I am recharging for the next thing. What I must be wary of is letting the natural periods of gray turn to black. Above all else the black hole is to be avoided since then you are unable to see the ropes that are being tossed to you so you may pull yourself out. The cipher must be encoded beforehand so when the signalling dots and dashes arrive you recognize them and steer your psyche back to solid ground.

Gray has been my tone for over a month now. It creeps up slowly and seems like something else such as the cold that is tenaciously hanging on I can't get rid of. Possibly the long hot summer full of unsought dramas that have cooled as has the weather and the mood is used to excuse this as post-crisis recovering. Another warning beacon is nine to ten hours of sleeping, unusual for me. Then recognition occurs, a skill that has taken me a lifetime to learn, that I must pause and enumerate the elements to draw a conclusion about my current awareness. Grey is the current shade and steps must be taken to keep black from obliterating the landscape of my thinking.


It is through a series of these episodes I have learned how to redirect back towards color. It is not always easy but steps must be taken and the first is to keep one foot in front of the other although the feet are heavy and the cactus I'm surrounded by has spines. Seek help, in my case it's a long time, trusted and valued friend and professional help. Tell the really important people with a need to know but limit who is aware. Letting too many people know only makes it worse due to the human dynamic of action and reaction, perpetuating the problem rather than solving it. Do something even if it is the minimum, in my case must be something creative. What I do is take pictures and edit photos to keep the scintilla flickering since I'm just not up to writing or video editing. So what if they're not great photos or edited so well? The hand and mind is still active and in control and when living in color returns it will not be difficult to pick up again.

It is a virtual desert of the mind that must be crossed and looking for water as sustenance along the way is critical to keep going. Redirecting negative thoughts to positive ones should never be underestimated but considered a critical component. Keep going, to stop is to chance disorientation, gamble with dehydration of soul, lose sight of the destination oasis ahead; it is there in the horizon simply not visible yet. Keep squinting and looking, it will come into view, it's not as far as the mirage in between makes it appear.

10/19/11

The Journey

Is the destination...

Suddenly something happens that changes perspective and after them life is different. Incidents such as the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King, the Challenger exploding after takeoff, the events of 9-11-2001 are collective experiences that changed the individual outlook of millions. For many it initiates a shift in thinking and an insight that forges change.

It happens with more personal events also. The moment when I knew my Jeep Wrangler was starting to rollover on a freeway froze time for me into an unspecified period of pure white until I consciously recognized I was on the side of a freeway staring up at a blaring sun with emergency personnel and bystanders surrounding me. It redefined my clarity of thinking to a new perspective in the days after causing me to start a long road of making changes in my life and ultimately thinking how to institute them permanently.


That is because changes keep coming and are reshaped resulting in life improving due to them. They never stop since you can make a list of things you want to accomplish or overcome but even when you reach a goal the next natural step is to keep going. Sometimes I think people are not successful at certain goals because they decide they're going to lose a certain amount of weight, work out to reach a certain look, read on a topic until they know what they want, learn to speak a language enough to be fluent and so on. After they reach their original goal they stop at that point rather than continuing and revising the goal to another level. Maintenance rarely succeeds at holding changes in place, except perhaps for short breaks to regroup, since it requires constantly raising the mark to keep it going. Maintenance really means continuously improving and learning.

My experience is life works that way. It took awhile for me to figure out the reason why I sometimes felt I hadn't accomplished arriving at a predetermined point was because I had reached and surpassed it but didn't recognize it since I kept on going. It is habit ingrained within me after learning from failure and a determination to figure out how not to lapse back into what I had decided to change. The pilgrimage doesn't end at the designated destination but progresses onward for a lifetime to keep learning and developing.

10/18/11

America's Biggest Concern

Is not economic depression but a psychological one...

No fear, no defeatism, no going backwards.

Personally I think political, education, corporate and financial institution leaders want to keep the populace off balance as a method of control. They view the despair and anger that fuels different corners ranging from the Tea Party to Occupy Wall Street demonstrators as silly little distractions to keep the masses occupied with infighting. People need to wake up and channel their energies into a more proactive plan of action. The first place to start is with you. It behooves us to take stock of what we have or don't, what we owe and what we don't, own up to the mistakes we may have made with money and constructively deal with it. However you do it, whether it is liquidate everything and repudiate debt, give up the escapism of consumerism, complex relationships, drugs and alcohol and own up to who you really are and embrace a self image as a strong individual. The road to mutual help is laid by being a powerful person that can help themselves so they may help others. It is a matter of survival and will; individuals must fight to keep their inner fire burning and continue moving forward.


To stop is to risk never getting started again and I refuse to do that although it is a battle within at times. Personally it makes no sense for me to get mad at behemoth institutions I have no control over. If your temperament is to get involved and shake down the windows and rattle the walls then doing it as an ant on a hill of thousands doesn't do much for you personally. It is why the large power brokers prefer it.

Far better to note Tip O'Neill's observation that "All politics is local" as far more useful since getting involved locally empowers you as an individual that effects change. Everyone is different in goals. What is my "local" thing? During general election years I work for the County Elections Board running precincts as a non-partisan Inspector. Work for the local political party, any local organization to make change. There's plenty unattended situations needing help, leaders and an answer.

Do anything but stand still doing nothing or moving around making a lot of noise with little result for the effort. Our biggest concern as a country isn't just an economic one. It is an economic depression that leads to a psychological one because people fall into the trap of feeling like failures. They believe they failed because they screwed up their finances, education, income, career or wasted time on banging the drum at the bank, the school or employers to no avail. They mistakenly escaped into complex relationships, sexual arrangements or drugs and alcohol. Even if you have fallen into trapdoors there is always some way out but it is rarely easy and takes effort.

This does take work though. Personal hard work, one foot in front of the other with times that every step of progress is painfully bought. There is also satisfaction that you are moving forward going somewhere rather than running from something. Run towards the light away from fear. The biggest fear most people have is living in a weekly motel collecting change for food and splitting their blood pressure pills. That fear will carry you there as a self-fulfilling prophecy if you take it to its ultimate end. Conversely being optimistic, working at moving forward, putting effort toward reaching light is a foregone conclusion of destiny. Refuse to allow the government, financial institutions, consumerism, corporations, marketing, political class to force you into a life of submission and manipulation you don't want. In doing so you become a strong individual of character that as a consequence will be supported by others and surrounded by people you can influence to make real change occur.

1/12/11

Thinking Out Loud

Real Life is like fiction...

So why not write about it?

It is time, actually overdue, to recharge my creative batteries, set a new aspiration to challenge myself with. I do not remember a time that I was not writing something, even as a small child I scribbled in childish scrawl little stories and made notes my father proudly called his "five year olds diary." I was a very early voracious reader and to the chagrin of my siblings and later my classmates I had a vocabulary and ability to spell grades above the one I was currently in. My aunt would show me off to adult friends when I was a kindergartener and say to me "Spell Czechoslovakia!" to be followed by "Spell encyclopedia! hypothetical! observatory!" and her favorite: "Mississippi," which she had taught me as M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-in-your-I" to my mother's annoyance.

Naturally as a youngster I wrote fantastical stories where my mind wandered into far-fetched situations I imagined myself as the hero. Pure Fiction. My notes were observations of things I saw, thought about, lists of things I wanted to do, devised out of boredom when I was riding in the car with my parents or waiting for something or someone. All Non-fiction. As I grew older, around eight or nine, I started becoming more interested in history and started reading some good quality history books. Although I still read fiction, it was mostly historical and political things I was interested in reading.

As an overactive child, both in mind and physical activities, my parents had a lot to deal with in keeping me occupied. My father had the idea I start writing a history of where we lived, to keep me engaged during certain times, when my parents, sister, aunt and uncle and cousin, needed a break from me. He figured it accomplished two things, kept me quietly preoccupied and out of others hair, as well as develop my writing abilities. Due to my reading interests, the result in the long term was that by the time I was 13, my interest was focused solely on writing non-fiction.

It was a pattern set for life. Through undergraduate and post-graduate degrees and beyond I have taken classes in Journalism, Non-Fiction Writing, Technical Writing, Historical Writing, Policies and Procedures Writing and Legal Writing. I have also written and published, in their medium, in each of these categories. I'm not being modest when I state that a lot of it wasn't very good, since much of it wasn't. My first website in the late nineties was topically political, modeled after Andrew Sullivan's pioneering website blog, where I first got the idea to start blogging. It was far better in my imagination than I'm sure it was in actuality. The same could be said for my writing for a website in the early part of this past decade.

The upshot of it all is in spite of a lot of bad writing, I've learned to write non-fiction, particularly policies and procedures, history and political articles, essays and blogs fairly well. There is truth in the axiom "writers write every day" because it does hone your skills. In times when I wasn't writing anything in particular, I wrote long letters and later email to friends who mutually returned the favor with long well written replies.

In 2005 I became enamored with video and the following year YouTube. Since then I've played around with video blogging and learned some editing and have developed a moderate skill at it. I started this blog in 2007 and for over two years played around with it but have placed back in draft mode most of the work from that time period. In 2009 I decided to get more serious with it and by the end of the year pledged to myself I would work in 2010 at it every day and develop my own style with it, which I intend on continuing.

All that just written to say this: to grow more in my writing I have decided to tackle fiction and am going back to the very junior college, now a Community College, that I began my college career at decades ago. I'm taking a freshman level class, although not a beginning one, in structuring and writing fiction. I decided to take the classroom route for a variety of reasons, primarily discipline and mostly to be around other aspiring fiction writers. This particular school is known for "robbing" the universities of good professors because of the school atmosphere and pay. Therefore the instructor is not only your standard PhD but also a published author of recognizable books and an interesting character in his own right. It also opens the door for me to be less intimidated going to writer's workshops. My mission is to stimulate and stretch my imagination to keep the creative juices that sustain me flowing.

This blog will remain what it is, a work in progress of non-fiction blogging of my personal observations of real life and social commentary about it. My ultimate intention is to learn the new world of self distributing ePublishing and if I end up writing any worthwhile fiction, I will produce it in the form of e-books, as well as non-fiction work as electronic articles. To me being creative and especially writing is something I can't imagine not doing and will continue the rest of my life, just as some people do woodworking, quilting, photography, rebuilding cars, vlogging, gardening, playing music or whatever captures their verve.

1/1/11

Thinking Out Loud

2011...

A new decade in a new economic, social and geopolitical world.

The year 2010 turned a page into a new chapter of my life in momentous ways that I did not expect but could not have hoped for a better outcome. Life is much better now. I clearly remember New Year's Eve and Day 2010 because it was a long and difficult weekend with a pending decision weighing heavily on my mind. On Monday, January 4th, I went into work for a few hours and then confirmed my instincts by resigning from my job. It was the right choice but difficult in these economic times and seemingly unwise from a personal financial standpoint. I had to do it to be free to move on in a new year, the last in a Biblically epic long decade in my life, that began in 2000 when my life was radically altered also by a work decision, one I did not choose. Like hundreds of thousands of others I was "separated" from the company I worked for almost 30 years.

The Economic Crisis started early for me, in hindsight I am very glad, it gave me a long running head start on what was to follow in this country and is not over yet.

This past year has been extremes of highs and lows, ups and downs and everything in between. At times I was in complete control of my situation and in others I was not. In the dead heat of summer I was struck by a virus that kept me bed-ridden for two weeks and during that same month I serendipitously found a job that suits me perfectly. It was a classic time that epitomized the characteristics of the entire year, simultaneously flowing triumph and disaster.

In the end it has been a richly rewarding and fulfilling year furnishing me with optimism, positive thinking and confidence. Regardless of what 2011 and the next decade brings I have at last returned to the summer roots of my inner self and in harmony with my true nature, after a decade of a mostly estranged winter. I say that with an assurance, that I did not have but was yearning for, this time last year. I knew then where I had been for a decade and did not want to continue but rather move on to another journey and I can say that I have.

One of the best decisions I made at the end of 2009 was to set a goal to begin posting to this website blog daily and start creating and uploading videos on YouTube again. It was part of documenting my life that served as a release valve, a steadying constant, as well as a confidence builder and confirming my ability to be original and self-reliant. Through expressing myself it reminded me I am a unique individual in my own right.

Another good determination made this past spring was to get off most of the social web, especially Twitter and Facebook. I never cared for Facebook and was reluctantly coaxed into it and Twitter became a time-killer, full of unwashed masses bubbling out a constant stream of babbling junk. That is not a judgment on other people who choose to be on those sites, those sites just weren't right for me at the time or even now. That choice, by it's very nature, also meant limiting my interaction online but I've found the remaining interaction to be of better quality.

The time I had spent online and with other things I chose to stop doing was spent reading good books in a self-designed "Great Books" list. What a wonderful determination that has turned out to be. My mind has not only been enriched but it has had an unexpected but welcome calming of my soul.

"He not busy being born is busy dying"

How very fortuitous it has turned out to be that on that day, Friday the 13th in October 2000, I was surplussed and laid off from the company I had worked for since high school, through my college degrees and experienced my thirties and forties. My involuntary "separation" (their term) actually was not accompanied with anxiety but rather rejoicing at being freed from the institutional madness of the only place I had really ever worked. That does not mean there was not angst of learning as I traversed down the road in the decade ahead. It prepared me in too many ways to enumerate to cope with the new world of 21st century economic, social and geopolitical circumstances.

Although this year and this decade has ended with a finality specific to me, it does not mean an end to always learning and facing new challenges moving forward. Now I look ahead to them with a renewed freedom I once had and have revived. It is certain that the Great Disruption that became obvious to the world in mid-2007 will continue and perpetuate the economic distress that challenges us all and disturbs other social institutions. We live in an exciting time as our universe is reborn anew once again, following in the footprints of world history. That does not bother me since I know that as an individual I have the determination, will and ability to overthrow adversity. Also I have a perception of others difficulties and an ability to understand what some may need help in learning to cope for themselves.

If there is anything I am able to impart to others, it is that we all have something within us that allows us to rise above and overcome. My hope is that in my own small way I can do that.

"He not being busy born is busy dying" quote from "It's Alright Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)" [Dylan]

12/14/10

Quality

List your ideas...

Every time you have an idea or a thought that strikes you, even if you think it's half-baked, it will never work or just too off the wall...write it down. Keep these ideas and thoughts in a list you carry around with you. If they're the type that fire up your imagination right away, at the first opportunity you get start doing them. In my case it's usually writing or creating a video.

If they don't spark you off right away, are not fully formed or ready-for-prime-time, let them sit awhile and when you have a moment of feeling uninspired or needing an idea, take out the list. I'm willing to bet that most of the time at least one of them will get you going. There's also probably a very good chance that you'll also discover that several of them are linked and will create a bigger project than just one of them alone.