Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
4/8/13
3/14/13
2/28/13
2/21/13
Granite Dells
Postcard from the past circa 1974...
We two siblings sat among big rocks
staring, thinking, wondering
having one of those silent talks...
Cross-legged our young life at crosswalk
gazing, reflecting, pondering
what were soul marks of chalk...
Unexpectedly we had lost paternal building block
furrowing, growing, thundering
heads compelled to take stock...
After a short while we packed up eyeshades
knapsacks, water bottles and day hiked out
to years layered upon decades,
like boulders enduring without doubt
soon forgetting the fragility that pervades,
every breath taken could still phaseout.
I sit alone now surrounded by same rocks
contemplating, reasoning, pardoning
mortal life for being a ticking clock.
We two siblings sat among big rocks
staring, thinking, wondering
having one of those silent talks...
Cross-legged our young life at crosswalk
gazing, reflecting, pondering
what were soul marks of chalk...
Unexpectedly we had lost paternal building block
furrowing, growing, thundering
heads compelled to take stock...
After a short while we packed up eyeshades
knapsacks, water bottles and day hiked out
to years layered upon decades,
like boulders enduring without doubt
soon forgetting the fragility that pervades,
every breath taken could still phaseout.
I sit alone now surrounded by same rocks
contemplating, reasoning, pardoning
mortal life for being a ticking clock.
1/29/13
Pardon Me For A Moment
While I adjust my cross-wired brain...
Pardon me for a moment
while I adjust my cross-wired brain
nether my remaining hair...
As I settle with unsolicited claimant
a cloud seeded foggy moody rain
that drizzly dampens my air...
Obligating me to be patient
whilst relieving headachy pain
reasoning out impermanent despair...
This encounter is recurring and ancient
history has schooled is part of life's terrain
for living full and a begrudging transient affair.
Pardon me for a moment
while I adjust my cross-wired brain
nether my remaining hair...
As I settle with unsolicited claimant
a cloud seeded foggy moody rain
that drizzly dampens my air...
Obligating me to be patient
whilst relieving headachy pain
reasoning out impermanent despair...
This encounter is recurring and ancient
history has schooled is part of life's terrain
for living full and a begrudging transient affair.
10/19/12
Feathers, Leaves, Sticks and Stones
Blown in by a dust devil...
Dancing dust devil spun
a small gyration of dust
carrying remnants of scattered earth,
leaving random odds and ends
on my upper floor unswept tile.
Reminiscent...
Whirl to my head feathers
a recent gust to soul
transporting fragments of strewn thoughts,
arriving haphazard sticks and stones
returning, requesting my mind's attention...
Dancing dust devil spun
a small gyration of dust
carrying remnants of scattered earth,
leaving random odds and ends
on my upper floor unswept tile.
Reminiscent...
Whirl to my head feathers
a recent gust to soul
transporting fragments of strewn thoughts,
arriving haphazard sticks and stones
returning, requesting my mind's attention...
10/8/12
Heaven
Just got a little more awesome...
On the very day your ashes
were interred on earth,
dust to dust...
The sky emblazoned sunset
here on temporal terrain,
sunbeams though radiated...
Skyward kingdom rising.
You slept only a celestial moment,
then in a twinkling of an eye,
raising up met eternal heir...
Heaven
Just got a little more awesome...
(Much appreciation to Scott W for inspiration.)
On the very day your ashes
were interred on earth,
dust to dust...
The sky emblazoned sunset
here on temporal terrain,
sunbeams though radiated...
Skyward kingdom rising.
You slept only a celestial moment,
then in a twinkling of an eye,
raising up met eternal heir...
Heaven
Just got a little more awesome...
(Much appreciation to Scott W for inspiration.)
10/3/12
Crossing Chasm Canyon
Writing life unedited is meant to be bolting...
Crossing chasm canyon my soul,
suddenly bereft seeks out in desolation
innovative thinking to resurrect the spirit
searching renewal to be once again whole.
Suddenly synapses discharged like lightning,
striking forthwith connecting brainstorm
to fertile ground of my flowing mind that
writing life unedited is meant to be bolting.
Signaling a new standard for placid existence,
a perception since canyon wash is ever shifting
trekking earth depends upon fortified walls with
a consistent and constant yet flowing conscience.
Crossing chasm canyon my soul,
suddenly bereft seeks out in desolation
innovative thinking to resurrect the spirit
searching renewal to be once again whole.
Suddenly synapses discharged like lightning,
striking forthwith connecting brainstorm
to fertile ground of my flowing mind that
writing life unedited is meant to be bolting.
Signaling a new standard for placid existence,
a perception since canyon wash is ever shifting
trekking earth depends upon fortified walls with
a consistent and constant yet flowing conscience.
9/26/12
9/25/12
9/2/12
The Rains Came
Pouring in unscripted and unpublished...
The rains came,
fast and furious,
hitting hard on my soul.
Flattened by events,
unawares, unexpected, unprepared...
The drops drilled down
boring stony and drunken,
clobbering surface of my psyche.
Flatlanded unwitting from behind,
awakening, changing, deepening...
Cloudburst flooded across,
washing rapid and hypersonic,
forging a drain to my essence.
In no time flat infilled a reservoir,
postponed, stockpiled, forthcoming...
The rains came,
fast and furious,
hitting hard on my soul.
Flattened by events,
unawares, unexpected, unprepared...
The drops drilled down
boring stony and drunken,
clobbering surface of my psyche.
Flatlanded unwitting from behind,
awakening, changing, deepening...
Cloudburst flooded across,
washing rapid and hypersonic,
forging a drain to my essence.
In no time flat infilled a reservoir,
postponed, stockpiled, forthcoming...
8/23/12
7/11/12
6/25/12
The Walk Of Life
Life is a map full of cracks and gaps...
Navigation requires an accurate compass for the right direction.
Navigation requires an accurate compass for the right direction.
5/30/12
I Walk The Line
Because it is mine to walk...
A fugitive crosses his tracks living life to the fullest.
A fugitive crosses his tracks living life to the fullest.
5/25/12
Ennui and Me
It ain't heavy it's a bother...
Wherein I muse about life in hope it helps others who relate similarly.
The best that can be said about the past few weeks is that they happened. Without periods of disruption in life we are never challenged to overcome them nor are we able to appreciate the better times in life. For those of us who are creative types mood swings of some form or another are a way of life, periods of bursts of creativity followed by moments of doubt we will never have a new idea again. Everyone suffers bumps along the arteries of life and for some it is far worse due to physical health or geographic and economic circumstances. For me it is recalling what I have been trained and learned about not being able to control circumstances but being able to control my attitudes and behavior regarding them
Fundamentally two simultaneous happenstances have bounced my normal disposition out of whack that I have had to get a grip on my attitude and work to turn things back to normal. Two weeks ago my sister was in a small city hospital she has been in more than out of in the past year with a seemingly losing battle against an unforgiving autoimmune disease. Fortunately she was brought under emergency circumstances to the major city where I live and put in hospital here for care and the turnaround in her health has been remarkable. She will never recover from Scleroderma but the key factor is her quality of life has been returned to her and has turned her around from being in chronic critical condition and restored to a somewhat functional pleasant life. Quality of life for the chronically ill is directly related to mental well being and length of life. She has been able to return home hooked to a lot fewer medical devices and less reliant on external equipment support with an improved outlook both medically and psychologically.
Coupled with her adventure is that for me during the past three weeks as a result of high winds, dust and wildfire smoke the pollution has caused a constant low grade migraine headache that even during normal conditions skews my entire disposition. What I dislike most of these episodes when they occur every few years are what everyone who also endures them is the cure is almost as bad as the ailment. There is not a person I know or am aware of that has problems with pollution, whether it is respiratory (the most common) or bad air induced episodic headaches is making the choice to function as best as possible with low volume medication or taking prescription drugs with side effects. Generally I function as best I can and reserve the medication until I can no longer stand it and then expect to become even more moody, hyper-sensitive and a sense of insecurity.
The psychology of this is irritating at best since logically I know that "this too shall pass" and that it requires mustering up the forces to implement the behavioral change techniques that I know will turn my emotions around. Still it is hard to get motivated to write and create visual art when feeling less than inspired but I also know that it will keep the worst possible condition, depression at bay. Therefore I've been creating and interacting with other people as best I could with in my mind mediocre results but it has resulted in my staying functional. The point is that it takes work to chug along and keep the train moving but now it is paying off, I am beginning to see the light again even if it is a pinhole at the end of a tunnel.
5/23/12
5/18/12
The Spirit Never Dies
Even as the house burns down and is abandoned...
Physical disease and illness can lay waste to human body just as wind and fire can tear a house apart. A metaphor arises if you consider the physical being of a body as a house to the spirit and soul. One interpretation of the analogy is a house may be destroyed and vacated but the former inhabitants live on earth somewhere else. This can happen also in a very real sense to a person living with a chronic disorder that is disabling and usually fatal. The person you see, visit and talk with is visible in front of you but if you're discerning and know them for who they really are you're not seeing the shell left of their physique. They have in a very real sense moved their spirit into another anatomy although not visible to our myopic vision. For them their spirit, soul and personage inhabit a different place. One they have created with their internal strength and vision that allows them to be as mobile as they are able and keeps their mind from dwelling on physical limitations.
This happened to me once decades ago when for a long period I was in a physical state that confined me to a hospital bed and after that took time to restore my body to its previous condition. Others I've known are not able to do that since their physical condition is unchanging or deteriorating. I see in my sister who braves Scleroderma that as her body changes and becomes less functional and confining that she has already moved into another body that I recognize as being one similar to the one she once had but above all functional. Her spirit hasn't died and needs a house that it may dwell if only in the mind it resides. I recognize that to a skeptic and hard realists this is all specious and suspect and for them I am sorry since their coping mechanisms always seem to be at a minimum tinged with anger and bitterness. All I can vouch for is my personal experience where I inhabited a different being I imagined as like a tree, with roots, trunk, branches and twigs nourished by the warmth of the sun and feed by living water.
This is why I photograph a lot of trees and create visual art with them.
Physical disease and illness can lay waste to human body just as wind and fire can tear a house apart. A metaphor arises if you consider the physical being of a body as a house to the spirit and soul. One interpretation of the analogy is a house may be destroyed and vacated but the former inhabitants live on earth somewhere else. This can happen also in a very real sense to a person living with a chronic disorder that is disabling and usually fatal. The person you see, visit and talk with is visible in front of you but if you're discerning and know them for who they really are you're not seeing the shell left of their physique. They have in a very real sense moved their spirit into another anatomy although not visible to our myopic vision. For them their spirit, soul and personage inhabit a different place. One they have created with their internal strength and vision that allows them to be as mobile as they are able and keeps their mind from dwelling on physical limitations.
This is why I photograph a lot of trees and create visual art with them.
5/16/12
Life Is Unscripted
Although being aware and prepared is a choice...
Events that occur seemingly unexpectedly or dramatically often build up over time with smaller occurrences that portend a sudden one. That is how it is with me currently as we approach summer and just as quickly as I was wondering when the next shoe was going to drop in a situation it did. In this case I am referring to my sister who has suffered with the rare disabling autoimmune disease Scleroderma for a very long time that has escalated the past few years. Last summer she took a sudden turn making a very long hot summer weather wise even hotter and longer in the soul. This past year has been a period of rises and falls in her medical condition and recently circumstance have foreshadowed that another major turn was due. Without going into personal detail it now has and the disruption is not unexpected any more than it is welcomed but nonetheless it has occurred. The time has arrived to calmly go into critical situation mode with my head and wits about me in full control over what I am able to direct and let happen what I cannot.
We are prepared for these things if we pay attention to signs that attune us to what it going on around us externally and internally. This awareness has many names including intuition, discernment, instinct, gut feelings, perception, premonition, hunches, foreknowledge and some would say clairvoyance. In many ways it is a result of experience and age bringing wisdom that gives us insight into what is most likely to happen given certain circumstances. In this instance signals were beaming at me that alerted my senses to be aware and begin to prepare for some possible difficult and unpleasant scenarios. Fortunately I paid attention to them and awkwardly started groping for coping tools to hone and let those who help me through uncertain situations know what my perceptions were telling me. This evening a defining event arrived and over the next few weeks and quite possibly months will need to marshal the resources I have gathered and as wisely as possible implement them. The readiness will guide me through although it will not necessarily make it easier or comfortable.
Events that occur seemingly unexpectedly or dramatically often build up over time with smaller occurrences that portend a sudden one. That is how it is with me currently as we approach summer and just as quickly as I was wondering when the next shoe was going to drop in a situation it did. In this case I am referring to my sister who has suffered with the rare disabling autoimmune disease Scleroderma for a very long time that has escalated the past few years. Last summer she took a sudden turn making a very long hot summer weather wise even hotter and longer in the soul. This past year has been a period of rises and falls in her medical condition and recently circumstance have foreshadowed that another major turn was due. Without going into personal detail it now has and the disruption is not unexpected any more than it is welcomed but nonetheless it has occurred. The time has arrived to calmly go into critical situation mode with my head and wits about me in full control over what I am able to direct and let happen what I cannot.
We are prepared for these things if we pay attention to signs that attune us to what it going on around us externally and internally. This awareness has many names including intuition, discernment, instinct, gut feelings, perception, premonition, hunches, foreknowledge and some would say clairvoyance. In many ways it is a result of experience and age bringing wisdom that gives us insight into what is most likely to happen given certain circumstances. In this instance signals were beaming at me that alerted my senses to be aware and begin to prepare for some possible difficult and unpleasant scenarios. Fortunately I paid attention to them and awkwardly started groping for coping tools to hone and let those who help me through uncertain situations know what my perceptions were telling me. This evening a defining event arrived and over the next few weeks and quite possibly months will need to marshal the resources I have gathered and as wisely as possible implement them. The readiness will guide me through although it will not necessarily make it easier or comfortable.
5/15/12
Clay Art of Living
Within the vessel creates outer cracks or strength...
We are formed much like clay art molded by our genetics, past and current history and how much water we retain before we are glazed and blazed. Kneaded by external forces we are wedged and prepared to face the fire and how we are built up results in the strength of our physical vessel. Fired in the kiln of life, we are either strengthened or weakened depending on our reactions to the changes we experience. How we weather the tempest of living ultimately is dependent on what resides within ourselves and although affected by our earthenware our internal choices determine if we crack or hold ourselves in place.
We are formed much like clay art molded by our genetics, past and current history and how much water we retain before we are glazed and blazed. Kneaded by external forces we are wedged and prepared to face the fire and how we are built up results in the strength of our physical vessel. Fired in the kiln of life, we are either strengthened or weakened depending on our reactions to the changes we experience. How we weather the tempest of living ultimately is dependent on what resides within ourselves and although affected by our earthenware our internal choices determine if we crack or hold ourselves in place.
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