Is It A Blur or Visionary?

Struggling with my creative self...

Pushing the envelope.

Some of my best writing and photography is not by design but by mistake, a fuzzy outline, a blur. They just happen. I will have an idea of what I want to write but end up writing something vaguely similar to what I started out with in the original thought. My struggle is with what I think is mediocre that I can easily produce and still elicit a good response. What I mean by mediocre is work that although it might be very good it is not unique or stands out from similar writing or photographs. How many photographs of a desert sunset can there be before they all become the same? I do my backyard landscape well now but how to do it originally or differently is what I struggle with.

I don't think I'm unique in that struggle but I do think it can be a struggle to be unique in this ubiquitous age of the internet. Some people have hobbies or play sports and that is their outlet to stand out or be a part of the crowd. For those of us who are creative that is our outlet regardless of our talent or how we express ourselves. We may never be a Rembrandt or Mozart but the challenge is to produce the best work we can and keep raising the bar.

Lately I've been experimenting with my Droid X taking pictures as they happen or something strikes me. Since I like to do as much as possible "in the camera" with relatively minimal editing as an enhancement I try to do different things while taking the shot. Recently it's been in motion or playing with settings. I still take the best possible landscape and street photography I can but I regard a lot of it right now as stock photography. The idea is that in the future I'll look at them again with a renewed eye and realize they still have value. Right now I'm a malcontent, a dissident against my own average, not willing to settle for mainstream, forcing myself to edit a photo blunder to turn the picture into a different wonder. If I were a painter I'd say that it is a fight against painting-by-numbers and struggling with an explosion of colors while taming them at the same time. Also by contrast toying with lack of color in black and white.

It seems I turned a corner with writing this year although I'm not where I would like to be, I don't feel as if I'm cranking out the same political and economics commentary I once did. Previously it was a struggle to get out of the same old habits writing history. Really that is the contest with all my creative enterprises, writing, photography, video and editing all of them. Building upon what I've already done while still bursting out at another level with something rejuvenating and vibrant. Currently it is photography. When I become bored with my own work then I know it is time to experiment and make mistakes or redirecting what I started to a different channel. In trial and error suddenly there comes a surprise, something different, a breakout moment that begs to be continued.