Crossing the Virtual Desert

Seek water journeying past a brief void of mind...

Above all else keep squinting to the horizon for the oasis.

There are times when forces in life collide and a fiery mixture that creates a burst of creativity and colorful experiences explode and the thrill of living can hardly be contained. Then they are often followed by quiet periods of contemplation and the soul soaks up what it has encountered and cultivates it for expressions in art and intellect. Then there are those cycles where the energy seems sapped out of life and the mood is flat and the color is gray. If you are a soul that travels through the hemisphere of vivid contrasting emotions it is important to recognize when those intervals occur. It is a certain bet that you are a creative type, a thinker, whether it is art, literary or science and it is critical you be aware of your own states of being.

When I was younger it was learning not to let moments of maniacal-like outbursts of creativity get too out of control and manage them to productively use the energy. Quietude has always been a manageable and enjoyable period since instinctively I know that I am recharging for the next thing. What I must be wary of is letting the natural periods of gray turn to black. Above all else the black hole is to be avoided since then you are unable to see the ropes that are being tossed to you so you may pull yourself out. The cipher must be encoded beforehand so when the signalling dots and dashes arrive you recognize them and steer your psyche back to solid ground.

Gray has been my tone for over a month now. It creeps up slowly and seems like something else such as the cold that is tenaciously hanging on I can't get rid of. Possibly the long hot summer full of unsought dramas that have cooled as has the weather and the mood is used to excuse this as post-crisis recovering. Another warning beacon is nine to ten hours of sleeping, unusual for me. Then recognition occurs, a skill that has taken me a lifetime to learn, that I must pause and enumerate the elements to draw a conclusion about my current awareness. Grey is the current shade and steps must be taken to keep black from obliterating the landscape of my thinking.

It is through a series of these episodes I have learned how to redirect back towards color. It is not always easy but steps must be taken and the first is to keep one foot in front of the other although the feet are heavy and the cactus I'm surrounded by has spines. Seek help, in my case it's a long time, trusted and valued friend and professional help. Tell the really important people with a need to know but limit who is aware. Letting too many people know only makes it worse due to the human dynamic of action and reaction, perpetuating the problem rather than solving it. Do something even if it is the minimum, in my case must be something creative. What I do is take pictures and edit photos to keep the scintilla flickering since I'm just not up to writing or video editing. So what if they're not great photos or edited so well? The hand and mind is still active and in control and when living in color returns it will not be difficult to pick up again.

It is a virtual desert of the mind that must be crossed and looking for water as sustenance along the way is critical to keep going. Redirecting negative thoughts to positive ones should never be underestimated but considered a critical component. Keep going, to stop is to chance disorientation, gamble with dehydration of soul, lose sight of the destination oasis ahead; it is there in the horizon simply not visible yet. Keep squinting and looking, it will come into view, it's not as far as the mirage in between makes it appear.