Jeep Thrill

Deconstructed and ciphered...

There was a time I posted every day. It was a compulsion.

The same was true of social media in its infancy. An early adopter I was burned out by 2010 and I was off all platforms except somehow I got sucked in by Google+. Mostly because I wasn't about to let go of my blog which originally was an adjunct to my YouTube channel. Google suddenly switched and it became connected to Google+. My daily blog posting evolved into interaction on Google+ which is a ghost town to me now. An introvert living in an extroverted world doesn't mind that.

Taking photos every day and editing them was once a necessary compulsion. More recently I still edit daily finding it a fulfillment and a creative outlet more than ever. I break pictures apart and create an enigma that I may or may not be able to  resolve. Usually they turn out fairly well and occasionally not. It makes perfect sense to me in a nonsensical world. Nowadays I post sporadically. Time for a rethink on my blog and we'll see what happens on Google+ since it is highly unlikely I'll be on another platform.

It seems right to post regularly here again. The backlog is pretty large.

Reality

Leaves a lot to the imagination...

Creative Surge

The obsession that ignites within...

Ennui and Me

It ain't heavy it's a bother...

Wherein I muse about life in hope it helps others who relate similarly.

The best that can be said about the past few weeks is that they happened. Without periods of disruption in life we are never challenged to overcome them nor are we able to appreciate the better times in life. For those of us who are creative types mood swings of some form or another are a way of life, periods of bursts of creativity followed by moments of doubt we will never have a new idea again. Everyone suffers bumps along the arteries of life and for some it is far worse due to physical health or geographic and economic circumstances. For me it is recalling what I have been trained and learned about not being able to control circumstances but being able to control my attitudes and behavior regarding them

Fundamentally two simultaneous happenstances have bounced my normal disposition out of whack that I have had to get a grip on my attitude and work to turn things back to normal. Two weeks ago my sister was in a small city hospital she has been in more than out of in the past year with a seemingly losing battle against an unforgiving autoimmune disease. Fortunately she was brought under emergency circumstances to the major city where I live and put in hospital here for care and the turnaround in her health has been remarkable. She will never recover from Scleroderma but the key factor is her quality of life has been returned to her and has turned her around from being in chronic critical condition and restored to a somewhat functional pleasant life. Quality of life for the chronically ill is directly related to mental well being and length of life. She has been able to return home hooked to a lot fewer medical devices and less reliant on external equipment support with an improved outlook both medically and psychologically.

Coupled with her adventure is that for me during the past three weeks as a result of high winds, dust and wildfire smoke the pollution has caused a constant low grade migraine headache that even during normal conditions skews my entire disposition. What I dislike most of these episodes when they occur every few years are what everyone who also endures them is the cure is almost as bad as the ailment. There is not a person I know or am aware of that has problems with pollution, whether it is respiratory (the most common) or bad air induced episodic headaches is making the choice to function as best as possible with low volume medication or taking prescription drugs with side effects. Generally I function as best I can and reserve the medication until I can no longer stand it and then expect to become even more moody, hyper-sensitive and a sense of insecurity.

The psychology of this is irritating at best since logically I know that "this too shall pass" and that it requires mustering up the forces to implement the behavioral change techniques that I know will turn my emotions around. Still it is hard to get motivated to write and create visual art when feeling less than inspired but I also know that it will keep the worst possible condition, depression at bay. Therefore I've been creating and interacting with other people as best I could with in my mind mediocre results but it has resulted in my staying functional. The point is that it takes work to chug along and keep the train moving but now it is paying off, I am beginning to see the light again even if it is a pinhole at the end of a tunnel.

In The Raw

Or do you sleep in the nude?...

Desert Rose among thorns.

The image I posted prior to this post at midnight today was also posted on Google+ and I was asked by someone who viewed the photo on my Google+ stream if I would mind posting the original photo. I'm not sure why fiona munday is interested in seeing the original but I agreed to do so for several reasons.

My photography and this blog have evolved to where the images are no longer SOOC (straight out of camera) or slightly edited. Rather they've become something else, Visual Art that has been edited or "processed" to either retain the essence of the original image or alter it into something entirely different. The artwork produced is not pure photography and it is not a painting or drawing or some other visual medium since it was not created directly onto canvas, paper or something else. It is digital and resides in a file on a computer until reproduced through some printing process. I consider this no different than creating a painting, drawing or some other visual art by using a photograph as guide or by projection. It is taking an original photograph and turning it into something visually appealing whether it is an enhanced recognizable version of the original or artwork that is completely different.

This is a topic of controversy among some photographers who are purists and I choose not to wade into what is "real" photography and genuine photographs. It seems specious to me since every photograph has been altered in some way depending on what camera you're using and if you're using special lens somehow it's changing what is "real." In any case I haven't thought of myself as a photographer since I used a 35mm film Hanimax Praktika camera in the seventies and eighties. Along with being a writer I consider myself a visual artist that creates images. I also don't think any photographer, painter, sculptor or artist of any kind is under an obligation explain how they do what they do and how they arrived on a particular piece of artwork. If they choose to do so I find it interesting but I believe it is a matter of choice. Generally I don't share the originals or explain exactly how I processed a photo, very often because I don't write down step by step what I do and I don't have a standard process it is continual exploration. In a sense I think it also takes the mystery out of the piece and doesn't allow the viewer to make their own interpretation of it.

I share the original photo, taken on my Droid X 1 using the app ProHDR straight out of the camera, to show the progression from original photo to final artwork. I use primarily three editing programs and I'll leave which I used for this final piece as an enigma although an experienced pro I'm sure can figure it out. What I will say is I adjust, edit and upload on the smartphone camera as well as on a PC. A final word on the topic is that although I think every decent photograph has the opportunity to become something special through processing you still have to start with a basic decent composition. There are flaws in this one with that I can see but all anyone needs to do is read my post from May 9th of this year "Rules, There Are Rules?" to further understand my point of view about rules, flaws and creative endeavors.

On the Latitude of Lassitude

A geographical location of the creative mind...

In the central desert of Arizona primarily there are two seasons: Fluctuating Mild and Flaming Hot, commonly referred to as winter and summer. There are two brief seasons in between we call fall and spring although those who live in true four seasons climate's mock us for not having a true autumn where leaves turn photographically splendid and a spring where the world seemingly jumps out alive as flowers brightly bloom. Personally I'd rather not go through all those seasons and changes of clothing and enjoy the mild winters we have and generally I'm in my element in the hot, hot summer.

For some reason the shift between winter and summer that we refer to as fall and spring bring on an inexplicable languor in my mood although my life is in balance and stable otherwise. I long ago gave up analyzing it but retain angst over why to some degree because...well, I have to have something to wring my hands about when bored. Logically I understand that the lethargy actually is a pause and recharging between my two creative seasons that coincide with winter and summer. Logic however has nothing to do with matters of mood and consciousness to souls like mine. That's another wisdom I have gained with age and learned to let go.

"It is as it is" as the common pronouncement goes.

It is spring in the desert now, the trees have long past budding and sprouted leaves almost instantaneously as they do in this latitudinal climate. The weather is warming at night, a sure sign that summer is on its way and suddenly we will one day find ourselves in blazing heat. The sun is already bearing down in its inimitable way as it does in arid lands. I am patiently waiting for the zest of life for me, creative energy and mind thrilling thoughts that cause me to make visual art and write to come along and they will.

If patience is a virtue I wasn't born with it but I have learned to cope with not having it. Sleep is a great comfort and storage house of unconscious ideas and I have no guilt about indulging in it for that reason. I also see no dishonor in doing nothing productive except what has to be done to maintain a household, pay the bills and keep the mind and body healthy with sustenance and mild exercise. It does no harm since for a large segment of the general population that is the core of their daily lives and they do little else. That is not a judgment on the average person merely a statement that if I engage in it while waiting simultaneously for summer and inspiration, so what?

During the two seasons of our winter and summer I create pretty good creative work for a modest unknown artist. In between I am still creating but to me it is production of mediocre work to keep myself busy and continue to hone my skills. Others may judge otherwise, one way or the other about the quality of what I do at any time but that must be somewhat irrelevant to me out of necessity. All creative people want to bring into being work that has meaning to someone else observing or absorbing their particular art form. Whether or not I do that is for others is not known to me and I'm not sure it is important at this point in my life that I do. Naturally it is my desire to give pleasure to the observer of what I create and it would be falsely humble of me to say otherwise but I am not consciously aware of whether I do or not.

Perhaps someday I will know but the important thing to me and the message I really want to impart to others who create is the therapeutic value of it for our own well being. Perhaps we might not be Sergei Rachmaninoff, Robert Rauschenberg, Ansel Adams or Walt Whitman and known in our own time or possibly we could be like Emily Dickinson and never know in our lifetime. We may be another fish in the stream that forges imaginative work that is great, good, average or just plain. It is all irrelevant in the long run since recognition is not always a sign of greatness and some pretty poor work is well recognized and shamefully bad.

What is of value is the importance that it is to us, that we do whatever is we do creatively and continue it to keep our lives from being as commonplace as much of the general population since otherwise for us it is quiet desperation. The meaning and happiness is important to us and very likely to those around us since they also experience the joy we get from making our art. Without that joy we live in frustration because we are not expressing our inner selves outwardly as required by the very nature of our individual souls. That also means sometimes we have periods that we must wait for inspiration and if we continue to work our craft, when ingenious eruptions do occur we are ready with tools and skills to bring them to reality.

Rules? There Are Rules?

On creativity and innovation stifled by The Rules...

Although I learned elements of composition in photography, art and writing along with other rules such as theme, perspective, point of view, balance, development as they applied to each genre there's a point where is seems to me once the basics are learned they're simply guidelines. Yes, yes, yes, I know many photographers, artists and writers will argue with me on the fine head of a pin over that concept but they miss the point. My real message is they become restrictive to the truly creative person and unless the rules are bent, reshaped, molded and played around with nothing new is discovered.

Photography is a great example of too many people going to the workshop and learning techniques, going out and perfecting them to a fault. The result is the vast majority of photography is dull and boring and it is omnipresent and all looks alike. Let me state to prevent being misunderstood that I think there is value in learning the basics and for many hobbyists they're a necessity but to move into being a visual artist my view is you have to and must experiment. How many black and white photographs of birds in flight or sitting on the wire are there? The cliche is replicated by the millions and you would think the standard way it's been done wouldn't be seen anymore yet I see it enough that it makes me want to do it differently...just because.

Here's another cliche for you: it's a metaphor for life in general. Personally I'm quite alright with the majority of people following the rules in all sorts of things whether it's artistic or the mundane details of daily living. It gives me the opportunity to stand up to do something different and stand out when I do. Which is rather odd for a somewhat anti-social person such as myself and perhaps there is some complex psychology there I don't want to bother delving into. There are enough people without artistic talent who like to study why anti-social behavior and creative expression seem to go hand in hand. Make that three cliches in this writing.

So here are three photographs I snapped in classic black and white following rules when I originally took them. They would have been good stock photos I suppose for a collection or I could have edited them in the usual workshop way. Instead I processed them with fairly simple techniques and I won't go so far as to say they're spectacularly unique or different and quite possibly they've been done similarly before. The purpose of my divergence in their creation was to renovate and metamorphose images that originally followed rules and see if bending them would lead to innovation either now or as progress in developing my own distinctive visual art.

When Gray Is Gray

Not black and white or color either...

These past few months I've been struggling with some natural passages of life that a normal healthy person ought to go through. The wonderful thing about living is the longer you are here you recognize patterns of life and are able to recognize them. Sometimes dealing with them is another matter.

The tools for repairing the soul are within me and being a generally optimistic and self-reliant person I usually have no problem implementing them. At other times it's a matter of putting one foot in front of the other knowing that as surely as the clouds came in they will also eventually break and the sun will burst forth. These past few weeks my mood has been cloudy without even hint of cleansing rain while simultaneously very creatively productive for me. The creativity actually has been a result of my mood since creating colorful images seemed to be the only gleaming spots in dull days. While I'm in these period I tend to photograph my personal favorite classic iconic images in black and white or muted tones and then edit them to reflect my mood as I emerge into the natural luminescent light again.

The Internet and Me

How I am arriving at being a Creator of My Content...

On publicly forming my own individual form of creative art.

The internet brought me back to being able to be a creative person as an evolutionary process and it's still a work in progress. I do not consider myself an artist as much as a creator of content since the internet provides a platform for me to share my integrated creative works. The web provides the platform, the canvas and gallery if you will, for me to express myself and share it with an audience. My concept is combining my writing, photography and videography onto a mezzanine of creative expression that crosses genres. It's taken me a number of years, over a decade and a half, to develop the message and skills I want to transmit into something more specific. The technology of the web opened the expressive creative process for me and all art is evolutionary process. It's only recently that I understand the particular type of content I want to create therefore promoting it has not been foremost but the priority has been more fully forming it.

When I started college I majored in Art (ending up with a minor in Art History) to learn better drawing and photography with the realistic understanding that meant either teaching or working in graphic design as a practical matter for income. The experience was constraining and confining to me since it seemed to involve mimicking a lot of standard styles and techniques that were tried and true from famous artists and works, in the guise of learning to create your own style. It was very imitative, not innovative and to me did not logically follow a path to my goal of creating individual unique work. In that era the art world of all genres was a confining closed society and restrictive including the very thing we are struggling with today: copyrights. I lost interest in trying to break through those barriers, changed majors and for decades the only creative activity I did was photography and small collages for my own walls.

Although I had been online a long time the internet opened up a whole new world for me around 1995 with the advent of the World Wide Web. It wasn't until 2005 with YouTube and video sharing of individually created videos along with Blogger and blogging that I started to use learn how to use those tools. The learning curve was occurring and my inspiration was slow in developing. The real advance in my creative endeavors began in 2009 when my friend Caylyn taught me video editing. At the same time I decided to also create blog entries every day as a discipline and to learn even more skills and tools of websites. I rarely read the manuals and still barely nor do I follow "the rules." I use what equipment is available to me and I learn from different people and whoever is willing to teach me as well as trial and error. There is a lot to be said for pure observation also of what not to do and what to do.

It is due to the internet I've been able to learn a lot in multiple ways and quite unintentionally built a small audience. Everything I've learned from social and creative websites is only now beginning to fall into place and Google+ has come along at a good time for me. I was an early invite and it has been good as a sort of public square to share my thoughts, things that interest me, learn from others and stimulate my website blog traffic. I am a small fish in a big pond with an astonishing following of around 3300 that somewhat overwhelms me since I've never had more than 400-500 subscribers/followers on any website. I'm not in the league of those photographers, bloggers, artists who have 33,000 followers and nowhere near a Thomas Hawk or Chris Brogan and not sure I want to be.

What I believe is the internet is wonderful for those of us who will never get and do not necessarily want a mass market following to have a venue to share our work with people who appreciate it regardless of their number. I am just now beginning to understand what it is I want to achieve creatively in an individual way and what direction I'm taking all the while still developing and growing.

It's a constantly evolving process that is being formed openly for the entire world to see on the internet. My personal creative satisfaction though is what is paramount and I share on the web for those who might be interested, go for the ride and give me feedback to achieve improvement. It is not for ego or financial gain. As my audience increases I consider that a byproduct of my creative growth but not something to be sought after as the primary goal. I view that as defeating the purpose and probably why I'll never be "big time." The internet has been a communications tool that allows me and millions of other people to express themselves creatively and reach as many or as few people as they are able to without a producer, editor, manager, agent, lawyer or any other middleman.

Life Has Curves

Bend with them, don't try to straighten them out...

Think how boring it would be if everything were in straight lines, tracked out and fitted neatly into a box. How dull life would be if everything followed a pattern, was as simple as putting everything in a cut and dried order and structures built, food grown in tasteless batches, clothes were in three colors and styles. Routes taken and paths followed by a predetermined cartography system and deviation wasn't even possible. What if art was all paint-by number? Music a series of ordered notes? Actors recited recurrent scripts? The curve, in nonlinear fashion goes outside the norm, deviating from the groove, twists and shapes objects, souls and intellects into something else to spark new and different thoughts on how to do things. Chiefly it is a passage to innovation, creative expression and ideas that stimulate life and gratifies the spirit and the mind.

Never Miss An Opportunity

To be creative no matter where you are...

Drawing while riding the light rail.

My Stop SOPA Protest Support

Don't know what the SOPA and PIPA legislation is and what the fuss is about?

SOPA is the Stop Online Piracy Act and you can read "What is SOPA?" on Gizmodo's website and CNET News has ongoing coverage "SOPA bill draws fire."  SOPA is a US Congressional House bill that has a counterpart in the US Senate called PIPA and PCWorld's article "SOPA and PIPA: Just the facts" provides an explanation of who and why are for or against the bills. Many well know websites used daily are "going dark" or protesting in some method today and WebProNews article "SOPA Blackout Set For January 18th: Here's All The Info" gives a list and explanation of sites participating.

My support for the protest is based on several objections. First and foremost it is the US Congress interfering with something they know nothing about, the internet and the World Wide Web and its infrastructure. They are attempting to interfere with the tradition of free exchange of information on what is now the primary method of communication on multiple levels and is a complex network with an infrastructure not easily altered for political ideologies. Especially since those political motives are promoted and funded by lobbying special interest groups of major media and entertainment corporations.

The magnificent thing about the internet is that it has allowed millions of people such as myself not only access to unprecedented information and ability to communicate but be able to become our own content providers. Content providers without contracts, controlled by conglomerates and censored by social groups and the political and bureaucratic classes. I am able to have my own small dedicated following of people who appreciate my creative endeavors and publish those works myself under protection of my name and Creative Commons licensing. No lawyers, agents, middlemen, exclusive distribution channel needed.

Musical Aspirations On A Hook

Instruments in abeyance...

Waiting to be plugged in and fill the air with music.

At one time played by someone these four and five bass string guitars were pawned for one reason or another. Perhaps the owner lost interest, discovered they weren't very good at playing, were a trade in or worse needed the money and had to sacrifice a beloved instrument for cold hard cash. They hang waiting in silence to be become alive again and fill the air with their back beat sound to enrapture the player either alone, with a small group of family and friends or perhaps even in public performance. No matter the skill and ability of someone who might want to play one of these guitars, it is almost shameful they're in a landfill of silent musical equipment.

Ray Charles said: "I was born with music inside me. Music was one of my parts. Like my ribs, my kidneys, my liver, my heart. Like my blood. It was a force within me when I arrived on the scene. It was a necessity for me-like food or water."

All creative people feel that way I think, I don't remember a time I didn't want to create something and was fortunate who had parents and family that encouraged it. They endured my learning to play piano and guitar and learning to sing. They praised my writing, drawing, painting and photography efforts while offering kind and helpful suggestion on how to improve. Whether creativity is in the arts, in thinking and philosophy or sciences, whether the skill is small, level or great it should be encouraged to develop the mind and soul. It is a seed to enrich life and should be planted, cultivated and grown to its fullest potential if only to satisfy the individuals own essence to give it courage and enrich the spirit.

Out of Focus

Weaving between the lines...

Rebel against perceived failure to create something new and different.

As a child we were told to color between the lines; as an adolescent learning to drive we were told to drive between the lines; as an adult if we paint-by-number we have to stay within the lines. The implication from childhood upwards is clear that staying within the boundaries is good and going out of them is bad. We are told to learn from our mistakes but are then also punished for them rather than turn a misdeed into a good deed.

In photography a blur is a mistake, an accident, something that shouldn't happen if you stay in focus. It is an aberration that supposedly makes a good photograph bad. What happens though if we decide to take that photo and play with it, as a small child does with finger painting before learning the rules, through editing and processing?

It is an occasion to let our creative minds wander and smear stuff around just as that little kindergartner does with paint and paper and no rules. What does it matter if it isn't a master photograph with all the qualities we are told make a good exposure? Sometimes experimenting with post processing a photo doesn't always work out but surprisingly more often than not, if we fool around some, we create a great picture. It is entirely different, inimitable and likely a more interesting one than originally intended, unique art of our own we probably would not have thought of. There's a lesson about life in there somewhere.

These photographs after being downloaded weren't what I had originally visualized within the lines I had drawn in my mind. My preconceptions of what the photograph was supposed to look like within the original lines in my head didn't work out. Rather than perceive photographs gone wrong as bad and let the opportunity to learn from a miscalculation go by I tried turning them into something good. Never waste the probability of getting a lucky break.

On The Other Side Viral

A lost week to some imported microrganism...

Since last Saturday afternoon for 15-18 of 24 hours in a day I have slept due to some kind of virus. I blame the winter visitors who annually always bring some unwanted gift from Back East. The bad news is I lost almost five days. The good news is apparently I didn't have it as bad as some people who didn't get a flu shot, therefore I missed the grizzlier aspects of it.

I'm determined to stay awake for the rest of the day with the help of pseudoephedrine and caffeine. Since I can't share the offending microbe I will share the unedited version of an unshaven bedheaded me. On the lighter side the last time I succumbed to anything was early 2006 and when I recovered I had a burst of creativity. My mind is already cranking, photos and videos that need editing with stuff in my head that demands to be written.

A Man and His Hog

He Rides Alone...

Americans like to characterize people and put them in categories of what they think they are and how they will act. If they don't think of bikers as having a bad reputation at the minimum they believe they're on the fringe of society. There are outlaw riders, motorcycle club riders, boomers out for the thrill of it, Harley riders, Kawasaki crotch rocket riders, people who ride them because they like to or it's their only means of transportation. Mostly my experience has been a lot of bikers who look scary to others are pretty much regular people. They choose to live life differently, out of the mainstream culture, just as a lot of people do who do not fit in.

There are many people who do not fit into everyday society nor do they want to. You can make of them what you want but they are integral to what America is really about. You don't have to conform if you don't want to although there are a lot of people who will argue that you do. In the sixties and seventies the common quip about those who had long hair and wore jeans and boots were not noncomformists at all but actually conforming to a different norm. They missed the point. They were refusing to follow the standard rules of society, go to school, wear the usual clothes, get a regular job, get married and have kids.

Zen and the Art of Maintaining Individuality.

Some of us held on to an independent life for awhile and then tried the norm. In the vernacular: "Hated It!" It didn't take many of us long to realize that we would never fit in no matter what we tried. It's in the head, the personality type, the thinking brain and there's no changing it, so why fight it? I decided a long time ago that I was not cut out for a "career" and that I didn't need the stress or hassle not only of trying to meet the compliance a corporation demanded of me but that it also required me to work even harder at fitting ino being somebody I wasn't.

Far, far easier to be comfortable with myself, be who I am naturally with people that accept me for what I am and in turn I accept them for what they are. My friends and acquaintances run the gamut. I have friends in their seventies who are livelier than people who are in their forties. There are retailers in their twenties who are the best conversationalists I know and much more interesting than talking with lawyers I've worked with. I'm familiar with an architect who is the dullest person with a small imagination. On the other side of the coin is the handyman that does work around here and is probably one of the smartest guys I know, not just in craft work, but also in worldly topics.

Make your own noise. If you're happy being an accountant I'm happy for you, all I ask is that you be accepting of the rest of us who don't want to do that. If you want to travel cross-country in an RV go for it. What we all should remember is that America was built on people who were different and that is why they left where they were and came here. Don't characterize anyone who doesn't conform to what are considered societal norms because the most creative ideas and innovative products usually emerge from those that others consider unconventional. What is not in the mainstream culture very often later becomes accepted as the norm. Then the cycle begins again.

Living Life Creatively

The upside of a downturn...

Point of view is essential in thriving during difficult circumstances. In his book Man's Searching For Meaning Viktor Frankl made a crucial observation about the psychology of those who survived the Holocaust and those who didn't. It was in the art of living. While in concentration camp he was determining that if there was meaning in life, then suffering had some meaning and mental attitude towards it determined the outcome of having suffered. This lead him to the conclusion that inner strength and refusal to surrender to the horrors of the concentration camp and instead looking to the future made the difference in who made it and who didn't.

While we live in an economic downturn that means a long term recovery period is ahead it cannot be compared to the horrors of a concentration camp. It means difficult times and the need to readjust standards of living but it is not the tragedy some people will take it as. Those are the people who will not do well because they are not looking toward the future down the road to better times but are living in the past and not accepting the present. Those of us who look across a barren empty lot and see the one flower blooming will flourish and see the future as blossoming into something better.

Yesterday I was driving through the high desert of dry grassland and off in the distance I could see the one large hardy tree that had drilled a taproot deep into the earth and was drawing water to live. I saw beauty in that landscape and that tree. It was a marvelous thing and had nothing to do with economic indicators being all down, whether the debt ceiling was raised by Congress, whether Obama settled for "The Deal." There was only one person who had any beauty in the questionable politics of the vote in Congress, although she may not match the political beliefs of some of us, in the ceremony of mockery our politicians made of our country she stood out.

It was Gabrielle Giffords who exemplified someone who tragically suffered at the hands of someone else and saw the future and fought not only to survive but thrive and come back from the calamity that struck her.

If we are to not only live and survive through the next decade in rebuilding our lives and our country we must adopt a vantage point of survival that is conducive to thriving and conquering arduous times. My suggestion is not only to live creatively, but devise ways to make what appears at first to be ugly, turning them beautiful. You do not need to be an artist to do this. You don't have to be able to paint, draw, take photographs or create videos, do crafts, lathe fine furniture, grow a beautiful garden. You simply have to find the aesthetic out of even the bleakest of scenes.

When I was growing up my father did work that took him to third and fourth world countries, some are now emerging economies but at the time they were not. Although we had to be mindful of our safety it was not as dangerous as today and we went to far flung places. The education I received was more than I could learn in any school. I will share one story that has stuck with me my entire life. It was in a place quite close to the US and under the most deplorable conditions we went to visit a family that he had come to know. They treasured knowledge and were especially grateful to him because he would bring them books. All over the walls of the shack they lived in a shantytown were cutouts from magazines or any source they could find of pictures of things of beauty. They might have come from advertisements that depicted something unique or a work of fine art. Outside the home was ugly, inside they were surrounded by pictorial items to inspire and comfort them.

There is a lot we can learn from that.

On Feeling Uninspired

A need to recharge my inner battery...

People in the Midwest and parts of the East Coast are experiencing the worst of a heat wave across the country. Many of them are feeling the lethargy that those of us who are prepared for uber hot desert summers, no matter how we battle it, get re-acquainted with every year. It's a reverse of winter cabin fever in cold climates. In the dead of summer we can feel a little dead inside.

It doesn't just strike thinkers and creative types but everyone at some point around the end of July. We've done all the cool tricks, we're over hopping from the cover of one palm tree to another, tired of seeking that one shady parking spot left. We're overheated and overdone and in my case I become bored and uninspired, which is my personal version of mini-tragedy. It's a step away from anxiety and depression I must actively avoid.

It doesn't help that this has been the summer that the rest of America has come to realize the economic slowdown is a long term matter accompanied by gridlock in DC. That also there has been drama at my part time employment and my sister has spent most of it in the hospital. When all the droopy dragging drudgery is finished being verbalized, the bottom line is there is a choice. Sleep the rest of the summer away or kick the brain by natural stimulation of some sort. I've been fiddling away minutes on the new Google+ as well as whittling away hours on the old YouTube and it has been a pleasant repast. Not to say that hasn't been helpful but now it is time to get more serious. I must force myself outdoors, the heat is only bad if you're unprepared for it, to walk the urban pavement and shoot some video. I have an idea for one and I need to execute it to get out of the doldrums.

Ultimately the only way to get rid of the dread of inner dead is to revive yourself on your own to come alive again after a respite. I'm finished resting in the shade, drunk on gallons of water, tired of being tired and the only way to counter it is to get active in a creative way. There comes a point when boredom and lack of inspiration becomes an unhealthy habit and the only good response is to seek a jump start to the soul.

Focus On What You Can Be

Not on what you never will be...

It is a process of self discovery.

The best thing we can do for our own development is to know ourselves well enough to realize where our strengths and weaknesses are. Doing that will lead us to is figuring out how to maximize our strengths and just as importantly figure out what our weaknesses are and determine which we can progress in and those that we cannot. There are some things we are never meant to be or have the skill to advance. Additionally we have some talents we are good at and should take the time to hone and develop to discover how far to take them. Attempting to foster what we have a knack for very often leads us to discover that is not our forte but along the way we uncover where our true abilities lie.

For instance I once was a mediocre singer. I developed the talent as much as I could, well enough to sing in public at gatherings and events. The result was I recognized that my vocal ability was limited to a certain range, type of music and that I could only advance so far. Eventually I gave it up not only for the reason that I was putting energy into something I wasn't all that great at doing but through the experience I realized I was good at public speaking. The conclusion is I determined where my real skill was and then maximized it. Another thing I learned from music is I grew up playing the piano and guitar but recognized I wasn't very good at either one and focused on writing lyrics instead. Taking from that experience I developed my other writing skills.

Through self discovery you won't spend time and energy trying to be something you are not and will never be. You then are able to direct your efforts figuring out what you do best and can improve upon. It is alright to try evolving certain abilities you may do somewhat well at to discover your limitations with them since through the experience you will likely discover a true aptitude worth improving. Decipher what you will never be very good at or don't want to improve upon. Then direct your focus on cultivating what you are already good at or have the capacity to develop no matter what it is. This can be artistic, academic, working with tools, people or any myriad of gifts worthy of being honed. It also doesn't mean if you'll never be a great painter that you shouldn't pursue it for your own pleasure, simply recognize that it is not one of your best skills and through it you may learn you are a great photographer.

Living In America

Toxic People, Toxic Situations...

Avoid them.

We're in poisonous times right now as we head into almost four years of when the world became aware in the summer of 2007 of the great economic disruption. It is a toxic time for many people who aren't prepared to guard themselves from noxious fumes. As someone who is interested in the social sciences I've had to be careful at times of absorbing and emitting too much toxicity. An ironic situation itself, since in 2007 when I was personally struck by this global financial fiasco, I was determined to remain positive and above it all. Generally I have been upbeat and made the most of the situation but at times have paid too much attention to the economic, political and social events of our time. That is not to say that I think anyone should remain uninvolved and obliviously unaware, only cautious about how to absorb it and manage personal thought toward current events.

It was a conscious decision on my part to not participate in the psychological downside of this recession, that seems to have developed into a depression. One thing I have learned, through periods of unemployment, temporary and underemployment, involuntary and voluntary, is being "laid off" from a "real job" in 2007 was the best thing that could have happened to me. Since I was 16 years old I've worked long periods for a major corporation, a huge bank and state government. According to the standards of the Old Economy, these were "real jobs" that were considered "careers." I struggled with identity when I was booted out of the first one, an epically long 30 plus years off and on journey. I also felt I had to replace that so-called career with another one, which I managed to do not once but twice.

The New Economy has been liberating for me. In many ways I was fortunate since I had several small sources of income and a support system that allowed me to get by financially. Not always having funds to do everything I wanted to do when I wanted to do it wasn't as bad as I would have once thought. It is through a process of time I began to realize I had been relieved of the toxic situation of trying to fit the proverbial square peg in a round hole. I was never cut out for a career in the world of major corporations and banks and I managed to survive among toxic people but it was at a cost to me. It was too draining. That was when the economy was supposedly good, although on reflection most of us know it was a consumer economy based on a false happiness I couldn't buy into. That kind of life was a more poisonous time for me than the one we live in now.

What I have learned about this entire situation is to avoid toxic people and toxic situations. For me that means not being employed in a job that is poisonous to me due to negative people and oppressing organizations. It has now become irrelevant to me that the part-time job I have, that I generally enjoy, is considered by many as my being underemployed. What those people don't realize is that part-time underemployment provides me with medical benefits, some additional income and most importantly, free no-stress time. During that time I am able to be creative and supplement my income from freelance work that is creative and enjoyable to me. Most importantly I don't feel I have to fit into a work situation I don't feel comfortable in, a toxic situation for me and for the most part allows me to avoid toxic people. That is as valuable to me as the skyrocketing price of gold.