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6/22/11

What Are You Afraid Of?

Fear and denial is an opportunity for reinvention...

It seems to me that two psychological modes have escalated recently which I attribute to the dawning of recognition among more people that our economy is at best stagnant and our political system is not acting in our interests. Too many people are responding by operating either out of fear or retreating into denial. Neither of these conditions work for long and eventually will breakdown into something else. How you deal with them determines the direction your life will take once you move beyond them. The first step is to cognitively recognize you are in one of those modes and then take steps to move beyond them. Avoidance of the basis for fear or denial is not resolution. The point is to avoid falling into negativity, despair, depression or turn to drugs or alcohol.

There are steps to follow that will get you moving in the right direction.

Assess where you are and dig deep and unravel why you feel the way you do and what is the worst that could possibly happen. This is an exercise in fear in itself but having the strength of character to do it will develop your character even further. You are likely to discover that your biggest fears are either groundless or can be overcome by figuring out a plan to overcome them.

Decide what actions you can take right now by prioritizing and dealing with any immediate problems you have in a semblance of order of resolution. An old fashioned piece of paper and pencil goes a long way in writing down specific things you can do to take care of that bank account, loan, unemployment, bad relationship, anything that is bothering you no matter how large or small. The act of writing it down and organizing it on paper works remarkably well at turning abstract worries into concrete potential solutions.

Do not get overwhelmed at what you have discovered. Step back for a moment, breathe and break complications into pieces and start on those that can be dealt with easily and straight off. Getting what you can off the list promptly whittles it down and helps you realize that there is a beginning to solving problems and conversely eventually there will be an end. Start small to boost confidence and keep on moving through the complications that are causing you fear or you are denying. One step at a time eventually gets you somewhere while standing still does not.

Sometimes declaring insolvency is the answer and it isn't always financial. It can be relationships, style of living, your location or place of living. If you have to declare bankruptcy then do it legally instead of walking away. End bad relationships and avoid people who are negative and dragging you down. It may seem heartless but it's your sanity and peace of mind that is important and someone else's shouldn't take priority. If your lifestyle is not what you want it to be change or modify what is under your control. If you live in a dead end city or small town, decide where you want to go and determine a way to get there. Think innovatively how you can earn an income in unconventional ways, some of them may seem off the wall but they spark a process in your mind.

Ultimately it is up to you to shake off the fear that ails you or what you are avoiding and denying. We are living in a historical cycle of disruptive change and to live atypically and individualistic is no longer irregular and soon to be the norm. Get a head start and arrive earlier at building a new mode of living. Fear and denial are signals that your current internal life no longer matches your external one and not working in your favor. Heed the beacon, delve into the cause and view it as an opportunity for a breakthrough to reinvention of self.

3 comments:

  1. This is truly an awesome post, JR.

    I have read it several times in the last couple days and it's made me think about my own fears and denials...I think they're just based on temporary refusals to make changes, for no other obvious reason than that change is different. That's not a very potent reason; I wish I could come up with some more interesting reason why I've avoided things but I think it's just that. There's a major part of me which would just as soon let things roll along until there's no choice but to forge a different path. I don't know if it's laziness and I can't call it comfort but it's there. And it's never done me much good in the long run. Change (positive change, that is) is a great thing. And what better time to embrace change and growth than now?

    Like I said at the beginning of this: awesome, sir.

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  2. And I love the pic with the "Business Access" sign directing traffic one way while the road-work (state? county? doesn't matter) arrows point in the opposite direction!

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  3. Thanks Mike. Everything I write pretty much springs out of my own experience and I understand the feeling of letting things roll along until there's no choice...

    I just finished tomorrows post. I think you'll like it also.

    Thanks for reading, sharing and commenting!

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