We overwhelm in sheer numbers...
In my lifetime, things seemed a whole lot more real and simpler to me before Disco and the TV show "Dallas" came out in the late seventies. After that, the rapidity with which my generation went from counter-establishment cotton wearers to tacky consumerists in polyester, alienated me for decades. Now I'm rather dumbfounded by how my generation seems stuck in a time warp. It's easy to understand why the generations in front and back of us are overwhelmed by our ubiquity.
We can be very boring, in spite of the energy spent by so many into looking and acting young, to stay "relevant." It's a delusion. We don't accept age well, yet we don't age very well because aging gracefully is just not in the repertoire. It's "buy now, pay later" coming home in a very personal way.
There are so many of us, yet I wonder what happened to a lot of my generation. The strongest traits, optimism and enthusiasm for the future, seems to be fading. Many boomers seemed to have disappeared to me, blipped off the radar screen, slipping into lookalike, cookie cutter living oblivion. I think it's because so many didn't change after the age of thirtysomething, reliving their daily lives over and over again in some comfort zone I don't understand. I never could stand still and seem to relate better to people of all ages who don't either.
You're either "in" or you're "out" and I don't mean that in the fashion or sexual preference sense. Rather to me it infers that life is a continuum that you keep learning, growing, moving on and challenging yourself to other things, which changes you as you go along. A lot of boomers are "in" the sense of change and have kept growing and moving on but I don't sense we're the majority. Many boomers are unfortunately "out" now in this era of economic instability and social disruption and I wonder what's going to happen to them as the world moves on to a new way of living.
10/9/10
10/8/10
Quote of the Day: Michael Caine
On growing up during WWII in England...
He is unsentimental about the war. "I benefited from it. For a start I ate nothing but organic food for six years. We had no sugar, no biscuits [cookies], fizzy drinks [soda pop]."
Michael Caine
"Tea with the FT: Michael Caine"
FT.com
He is unsentimental about the war. "I benefited from it. For a start I ate nothing but organic food for six years. We had no sugar, no biscuits [cookies], fizzy drinks [soda pop]."
Michael Caine
"Tea with the FT: Michael Caine"
FT.com
The Sharpest Tongue
Is usually honed by fear...
Most likely someone who treats other people with disrespect by being abrupt, sarcastic or rude and speaking as if everyone else is an idiot, is in fear of being discovered an idiot themselves. They live in constant angst of their insecurities being discovered and their actions are a defense mechanism to cover up how they really feel about themselves. Which is contrary to the external image and actually an internal hell, a trap they feel they can't get out of.
Generally they are to be avoided if possible, especially on a social level, because they inject nothing but negative energy into any situation and sap useful energy. Sometimes though, such as in work or other groups, they can't be avoided. It's important not to let them intimidate you and buy into their behavior. One approach is to pick one piece of their negative commentary that can be turned neutral or positive, and turning the conversation around to a more positive level to redirect them. Also consistently treating them in small, subtle ways with respect and reinforcement of their good traits, will signal to them that you're not "going to play."
In that manner you have avoided the counterproductive bombardment in an unavoidable situation, particularly if it's work where it's ongoing, and set the tone for future interaction on a higher plain. It also may open the door a crack for them to feel less trapped and possibly work their way out of their insecurities. This takes a lot work and reinforcement, especially since it's easy to unwittingly fall into the trap yourself.
Most likely someone who treats other people with disrespect by being abrupt, sarcastic or rude and speaking as if everyone else is an idiot, is in fear of being discovered an idiot themselves. They live in constant angst of their insecurities being discovered and their actions are a defense mechanism to cover up how they really feel about themselves. Which is contrary to the external image and actually an internal hell, a trap they feel they can't get out of.
Generally they are to be avoided if possible, especially on a social level, because they inject nothing but negative energy into any situation and sap useful energy. Sometimes though, such as in work or other groups, they can't be avoided. It's important not to let them intimidate you and buy into their behavior. One approach is to pick one piece of their negative commentary that can be turned neutral or positive, and turning the conversation around to a more positive level to redirect them. Also consistently treating them in small, subtle ways with respect and reinforcement of their good traits, will signal to them that you're not "going to play."
In that manner you have avoided the counterproductive bombardment in an unavoidable situation, particularly if it's work where it's ongoing, and set the tone for future interaction on a higher plain. It also may open the door a crack for them to feel less trapped and possibly work their way out of their insecurities. This takes a lot work and reinforcement, especially since it's easy to unwittingly fall into the trap yourself.
10/7/10
Quote of the Day: Andy Warhol
Times change because we change them...
"They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself."
Andy Warhol
The Philosophy of Andy Warhol (From A to B & Back Again)
1975
"They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself."
Andy Warhol
The Philosophy of Andy Warhol (From A to B & Back Again)
1975
Rippling Tides
A small ripple is big in a small pond...
I tend to think that things we do, intentional or otherwise, can have an effect even if we realize it or not. If we're in a small group, the impact of small actions is much larger and easier to recognize, if we notice it. For example, a small work group, whether it's an office, machine shop, retail store, mechanic repair place or a banking center, may have three to ten people working there. It only takes one or two, maybe three people, to make the entire place dysfunctional until someone stops buying into it.
Say there are six people working in a place and one or two people have differences in style or opinion on the way things should be done. This causes discomfort and stress on the others but in such a small group, very often the path of least resistance seems to be best course. Except that it leads to a larger dysfunction in the entire group that is uncomfortable for everyone. If only one person doesn't buy into the behavior, by treating everyone and every task consistently and chooses to function without playing into the pattern, change can happen. Perhaps it just one small process that's doesn't have to be done one way or the tone of voice of one person that is the problem.
Choose not to do it that way, as long as what you do instead works or don't respond to the tone except civilly. It's possible, in fact highly probable, that at some point it will be met with resistance by the perpetrators, but usually by this time the others, who are long since tired of the situation, will either obviously or quietly go along with discontinuing the dysfunction. In a small way, you've made a big change in a small group. It's usually not easy to do this and doesn't happen overnight, but well worth the effort.
I tend to think that things we do, intentional or otherwise, can have an effect even if we realize it or not. If we're in a small group, the impact of small actions is much larger and easier to recognize, if we notice it. For example, a small work group, whether it's an office, machine shop, retail store, mechanic repair place or a banking center, may have three to ten people working there. It only takes one or two, maybe three people, to make the entire place dysfunctional until someone stops buying into it.
Say there are six people working in a place and one or two people have differences in style or opinion on the way things should be done. This causes discomfort and stress on the others but in such a small group, very often the path of least resistance seems to be best course. Except that it leads to a larger dysfunction in the entire group that is uncomfortable for everyone. If only one person doesn't buy into the behavior, by treating everyone and every task consistently and chooses to function without playing into the pattern, change can happen. Perhaps it just one small process that's doesn't have to be done one way or the tone of voice of one person that is the problem.
Choose not to do it that way, as long as what you do instead works or don't respond to the tone except civilly. It's possible, in fact highly probable, that at some point it will be met with resistance by the perpetrators, but usually by this time the others, who are long since tired of the situation, will either obviously or quietly go along with discontinuing the dysfunction. In a small way, you've made a big change in a small group. It's usually not easy to do this and doesn't happen overnight, but well worth the effort.
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