Ambiguity Dancing

Frantically color matching from sun to shadow...

There are people who hold the opinion of whoever is around them and reflect whatever they hear and see from others. Public office politicians are like this and people in all spheres of society who act politically and never commit to an opinion or an idea unless it suits the moment or purpose they're currently in. Think realtors, salespeople, outbound marketers, investment advisors...they do and say whatever is necessary for the moment. After the sale, the bonus is paid, the commission is collected and then the compliments, concern and cookies are no longer there. They've lowered themselves to puppets of fleeting momentary rewards with no real values or ethics cemented in their character.

Personally I believe it is admirable to be independent minded, a thinker who holds opinions and state them if the situation calls for it. It isn't always necessary to announce it at every opportunity depending on longitude and latitude and the company present may not be worthy of the expression. Discretion is the order of the day and simply because you are a thinking person with ideas and opinions doesn't mean they need expression at every turn. Jesus in his Sermon on the Mount gave the golden advice; "Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces." (Matthew 7.6)

High Wattage People

Who create negative low energy...

Some people are difficult to be around and we all have them somewhere in our lives whether they're family, friends, co-workers, a neighbor or the friend of a friend. It's not necessarily the needy people or the ones who go from one drama to another that are the hardest for me to take. It's the negative, high-strung, wire tight person who dissipates all the positive energy out of a room merely by their presence. They remind me of being just under low hanging high power lines that you can hear the singing of the static electricity that emanates from them. The swing of the wires, zinging in the air and hair standing on end is unnerving.

They are vampires of calm and emotion, positive thinking and good spirit who suck the atmosphere around them dry in a void. Worse, sometimes they can't be avoided and the best you can do is be prepared with healthy defenses mechanisms and placing an invisible shield of self protection around you. Somehow at times they manage to break the barrier and leave you exhausted. In my case I work with someone like that and most of the time I can roll my eyes and turn my back but there are days when she hits every nerve. I won't pretend that sometimes in those moments I want her to roll on the floor in twisted agony and writhe as if she was a snake run over by a truck. Usually my better nature regains control and I turn my attention to something else but occasionally she gets a tongue lashing that I rarely succumb to but people who know me are well aware of. It doesn't happen often and only strikes those that generally get on everyone else's nerves also. My co-workers I think secretly enjoy it and my manager knows that I won't apologize to her but that I do feel guilty about losing control and will apologize to him since it puts him in a difficult spot.

These people get the better of us I think mostly because it is human nature to be able to take only so much negative energy. Some people actually like being around this personality type for several reasons but usually to amplify their own anger and confusion. Those two inner fears, anger and confusion are what I believe drive these malignant spirited people and I still have difficulty understanding why they haven't figured themselves out yet and redirected their lives. Nonetheless they haven't and regretfully the rest of us somehow must tolerate it. As agitating as it can be to be around them the best way I have figured out to accept they exist is know that sooner or later they will implode on their own. The bottom line is I can do nothing about that and all any of us can do is the best we can to manage ourselves recognizing we may sometimes fail at it. Then we need to forgive ourselves for our own human nature and move on.

Human Touch

On being personable in a detached world...

We are people starving for attention in a world of automated tellers, touchscreen ordering and voice response systems. Personal attention is a two way street. That person behind the counter who robotically rings up your purchase needs attention as much as you do. We are human and our spirit is what separates us from the animal kingdom.

It is astounding how many people are operating out of fear and anxiety. Those two emotions are reflected in our interactions with each other in urban areas and small cities. A lot of people act as if they don't care in this mixed up, muddied era of economic downturn, political divisiveness and social disruption. Actually they're just playing it safe. People have been trained to publicly be cool, calm and detached and mimic a phony customer service model that is based on whatever acronym some consultant came up with. Attempting to avoid offending anyone has made many defensive and cold towards others.

In my industry I work with people who suffer test anxiety since their credentialing and livelihood depends on a high stakes test. Experience has taught me that acknowledging it in some way from the beginning returns a heartfelt "thank you" afterwards. One way I do this is just prior to entering the test room I will tell someone to "take a deep breath, breathe in the good air, exhale the bad air and think success." There is nothing original in that statement but it gets a positive response in test takers ranging from burly firefighters to aggressive stock brokers to aloof doctors.

At the interchange of human interaction people seem to be dispassionate but underneath they are not. Inside may be a raging bull or a soft-hearted bear that fears what others might think or only wants to be recognized as a person. Take a moment to recognize someone's fear or anxiety by doing or saying something that acknowledges those emotions indirectly by being personable. My bet is that you will discover the most detached person will light up and respond.

Thinking Out Loud

Courage and Encouragement...

It takes courage to live in a world where we are bombarded with multi-weaved visuals and sounds ranging from good to bad on an unprecedented scale as never before. This is true if you live in a relatively quiet New Hampshire village or a large Western American city such as Phoenix. The blare is incessant, unless we gather up our strength and bravely fend off what we don't want or need to see or hear.

We are heroes for living in an evolutionary cultural era of sweeping change. What we present to others is intangibly reflected back to us.

Certainly we are not the first humans to do this. We should recognize we are living in a time period that is not merely a change of century but the turning of a page in history. For this most certainly is a monumental juncture of future present and we are living in global change, not unprecedented, but definitely not the relatively placid post-Industrial period of the past century. Strange how we don't really recognize a significant time period when we're living in it.

Our heroism for drawing breath in this unsettled time is rewarded by the reassurance we pass onto others, which in turn is handed back to us.

We sense the change in the atmosphere like hair rising on our arms from static electricity before a lightning storm. We're aware lightning is going to strike but its target is unknown to us. We live in an instant of time that will be recounted in history in ways we may not recognize due to the distractions of the moment. Safeguarding ourselves from fear of the unknown requires courage. The spirit and guts we need for courage can be obtained by encouraging others, that is then redirected back to us. It is the intangible law of return on investment in others.

You Can Quote Me On That

Operating outside the standard time schedule...

"I'm a night person who won't be forced into a lifetime of days." 

This is the time of year that I start entering my most creative period and nighttime is when it all happens for me. I am quite content with the heat of desert summer (well...until the very end of August), day and night. As any creative person knows, creativity is like manic depression (therefore many creative people are often manic depressive) and occurs like mood swings. There are cycles of abundant creativity in bursts with extents of time when relatively little happens. I fully recognize that my anxiety and low level depression occur mostly in winter months, even though what we refer to as winter in the desert is nothing like what a person in upstate New York might call it.

This is not a problem at home since I live with someone who works all night and is a day sleeper. Mostly I steer clear of the so-called "regular" world that operates on a daytime weekday schedule. I do my waking and sleeping to suit my own circadian rhythm that is regular to me. Fortunately my "real" job is part-time with varying hours and days so I choose an afternoon-evening schedule. I circumvent a so-called "normal" life and am quite content not living in the 8 AM to 5 PM, Monday through Friday world (nor do I operate well in one). I am free of being dependent on one source of income but several that combined, most of the time anyway, is enough for me to live on and obtain the tools and supplies I need to be creative.


I'm aware I am not the only one who lives in a similar way and I tend to think our lives are much healthier and happier for those of us who follow our own natural cadence. Too many people try to force themselves into a pattern against their nature and create stress not only in their lives but in general society. Perhaps one benefit of this economic era of high underemployment and unemployment will cause a lot of people to reevaluate their priorities in scheduling and managing their lives.